Pregnancy Centers March 31, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Recommendations , 2 commentsJoe,
I wanted to post this article from Time Magazine on the new rise of pregnancy centers in the country. It was very saddening to me to see the way people can support abortion so vehemently. It also made me realize as Christians what a responsibility we have to lovingly involve ourselves in this cause. One great ministry to support is Heartbeat of Miami. For where our treasure is, there our heart will be also!
Working to serve the least of these,
Erin
Covering All Bases March 30, 2007
Posted by Erin in : General Lessons , add a commentJoe,
Thank you once again for the reminder of the gospel needing to be the center of all that we do. God is certainly bringing that to light in a number of different areas in our lives right now!
I wanted to share a little bit about something else God has been doing in our lives lately. both of us have recently come up with a much more concrete and succinct prayer plan. We both had some idea of what we wanted to pray for before, but now we actually have it laid out what our daily prayer and weekly prayers will be. Each day has it designated categories to pray for and we also keep a list of specific prayer requests to be lifting up for people. This has been a huge blessing to me, because although I cannot pray for everything every single day, I can feel confident that there is nothing slipping through the cracks that won’t go for weeks without being prayed for.
I was thinking how this can relate to parenting as well. So often I get so concentrated on training and disciplining Abby in a certain area, that the other areas seem to slip through the cracks. I may be concentrated on her giving an immediate “yes”, but am letting her get away with whining or something else.
In this regard, I think it is helpful for parents to sit down and have a “child plan”. You can pray an talk about the weaknesses and strength of each child and then come up with a plan for how to shepherd them into loving Jesus more in those areas of weakness. Obviously each child is going to have many areas of weakness (as we all do!). So you can’t come up with 50 of them. but I know for myself, I see 3-4 areas in my own life that I struggle continually with sin, and those are the main areas I focus in on prayer and practice for myself. In the same way, I think it is helpful to focus in on 3-4 areas in our children’s lives where there is habitual sin. And then come up with a plan for how that will be trained and disciplined.
It is helpful to re-evaluate this list every few months. See how God is answering prayer in these areas. See ways that your training and disciplining need to be adjusted. And maybe see new areas of sin that are popping up and need to be corrected, while other areas may not need to addressed as much anymore. Let’s learn to be students of our children’s behaviors so we are not focusing in on one area, while letting another area of sin completing slide by.
Seeking to parent in all areas of our children’s lives,
Erin
Gospel-Motivation March 29, 2007
Posted by Joe in : General Lessons , add a commentErin,
So you actually read those articles all the way through huh? That’s a good idea. I might follow your lead on that one sometime huh? As you guessed, I linked to those articles because they came from a reliable source. I still count them reliable, but I will do more checking next time! But as you said, it was a good learning opportunity. That is usually the case isn’t it? I am quite sure that the Lord ordains that error spread so that the truth might be more faithfully clarified. This has been the case throughout the history of the church. Indeed, much of the New Testament was written on those grounds.
Now, that being said, the error you mentioned is minor, but it has gained quite a foothold in Biblical teaching and theology. Particularly in the Reformed community, we often hear it said that gratitude for the cross is a motivation for obedience. As you alluded to, Piper more or less demolished that notion in his book Future Grace. For that I am thankful, because I was definitely saying that before I read his book! And though the error is minor, it goes to show that minor errors can have major effects. I know that a whole new world of grace and sanctification opened up to me after reading Piper’s work. For until you understand how God motivates us to obedience, how can we really be sanctified?
As it relates to raising our kids, I do want to emphasize the fact that we should still emphasize what Jesus has done in their place as a motivation for obedience. However, we should not emphasize it as it relates to ‘gratitude’, but instead, standing with God.
This isn’t easy, of course, because our children just don’t understand much when they are young. Maybe in a few years, Abigail will be able to know something of trusting in Christ and being united to Him. At least that is my prayer. But for now, she just needs to hear over and over again that she is a sinner who needs a Savior–Jesus Christ our Lord. She is a little girl who desperately needs to be delivered from an inner enemy that she cannot conquer. And so is the case with Elijah. So also is the case with us. Continually, we must set before their (and our) eyes the gospel of hope, the good news that Jesus died in the place of all who choose to believe in Him. For only then can we truly be set free.
As it relates to motivation, I would venture to say that if we (and they) truly trust in the Lord Jesus, we are righteous before God and freed from trying to earn our way to Heaven. We don’t need to fret over our sins. We need to confess them and forsake them and realize that Jesus has paid for them. No need to beat ourselves up. No need to dwell too long on the past or present failures. We need to look to the cross and our right standing with God, so that we might be set free to obey. Maybe, in the end, it isn’t so much of a motivation as it is a release. But the more I come to understand such truth, the more motivated I am to obey. I suppose that is about as much as I can say.
So….let us labor to continually keep the gospel in view and to hold it before our little children, whether they walk in obedience or disobedience. For it is the only hope for a happy heart and a happy home–indeed, a happy world!
Basking in His mercy with you,
Joe
Disagreement March 28, 2007
Posted by Erin in : General Lessons , 1 comment so farJoe,
Thanks for picking up my slack yesterday by posting those two articles. After reading the second one, I am going to have to disagree with the basis of the article. Yes, my love, I am bringing an argument to what you posted to the internet! I am pretty sure you were not able to read it through the whole way though and probably just got it from a reliable source!
The post was dealing with not motivating children through fear or pride, which of course was good. The then the following statement was made:
“Motivating children through gratitude for the cross is a very different but far superior approach to disciple-making than getting kids to obey out of fear or guilt or pride.”
Although it may sound good to motivate through GRATITUDE for the cross, that is something the Bible never does. As you know, one of my favorite books is John Piper’s “Future Grace” and in that book he spends the first half dispelling the notion that we should be obedient out of gratitude. In deed, we are to gives thanks, but thankfulness is not to be the motivation for obeying. Instead, the Bible points us to future grace (as the title implies) as the reason we are given for obedience. We are to look forward to the rewards that God promises and not look backwards to the work of the cross. Again, gratitude is indeed called for in the Bible, but not as a motivation to obey.
This is a great lesson in how to motivate children to obey as well. We often appeal to Abby’s desire to be happy, as the Bible often does. That is a reward that God promises to those who walk in righteousness. There are countless other promises of obedience in the Word as well. I am seeing many of them as I read through Proverbs right now.
So I would encourage parents to search the Scriptures for the promises of those who will obey. And encourage your children to obey to achieve those promises!
Seeking the promises,
Erin
Short Articles March 27, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Links , add a commentErin,
Lest we miss a day, here is a short article that is probably worth referring to in the future. His opening line is a good one to say the least! Also, here is another one that is worth reading. If nothing else, as parents, we need to be reminded of the same truths over and over. And naturally, this is a lesson for all of life. I am thankful that the Bible serves to do that every single day!
Seeking Him with you,
Joe
A Lesson in Justification March 26, 2007
Posted by Joe in : General Lessons , add a commentErin,
I can’t help but share the ‘light’ that dawned on me yesterday morning at church. It was a joy. I shared it with you already of course, but it is good to put it down in writing. Surely, it will become more concrete. So…
After being way too frustrated and angry with myself over failing to move the car and subsequently having it towed (heaven forbid right?), I went to my knees (not fast enough I know) over the Word and prayed through the gospel. Light was coming, little by little, but not as fast as I would have liked. I was still struggling. Maybe it was guilt. Whatever it was, I just wasn’t at peace in the Lord. Then we went to church.
While at church, we took the Lord’s Supper (as we do each week–a practice that I am loving by the way!). During that time of thought and meditation and confession, light came. It went something like this: “Do I believe that Jesus has removed every hindrance to my receiving God’s full love and blessing? Yes. Then why do I still seem to think that God is frustrated with me and disciplines me accordingly? Well, I suppose I don’t really understand the gospel.”
Then I turned to you and said, “I don’t think I struggle with thinking that God is angry with me. I think I struggle with thinking that He is frustrated with me, that is, up there shaking His hand in frustration over my stupidity and sin.” That’s when it really hit me. And as you know, it kept hitting me for quite some time.
Somehow, I thought that God related to me the way I tend to relate to Abigail many times. That is, I am frustrated with her sin and shake my head, as if to say, “What is your deal?!” Then I discipline her accordingly. But that is not how God relates to us in Christ Jesus at all! How far I was from the truth! The Lord is doing no such thing, but instead, always responds with utmost love and patience and wisdom! Because Jesus Christ suffered in my place, and because I bear His righteousness before the Father, He has nothing but good for me. He is pursuing me with goodness and mercy all of my days! Now that is gospel!
As it relates to parenting, I realized that my understanding of God in this regard was informing the way I related to Abigail. Sadly, I have been failing to reflect the patience and wisdom and love of our Heavenly Father by shaking my head in disbelief over her willful rebellion. What I see now is that the more I come to understand the gospel, that is, the more I realize how God relates to me through Jesus Christ, the better father I will become. And who says theology isn’t practical!?
The truth of justification is a very big deal in parenting. The more we understand Christ’s substitutionary work, the better parents we will be. That being said, let’s labor to be overwhelmed by the truth of the gospel! The Lord reveals Himself in great measure through the awesome good news that Jesus Christ came to suffer and die in our place. The more overwhelmed we are, the greater our impact will be on our children!
Seeking to faithfully reflect the Heavenly Father,
Joe
Sabbath Quote March 25, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Links , add a commentErin,
This is a lengthy quote from Andreas Köstenberger, but it’s very good. It is probably the best thing that has been said here so far! Also, for more from him (and he is a good one to visit), visit his website, www.biblicalfoundations.org.
“A proper approach to parenting needs to leave adequate room for the relational component in parenting. Christian parenting should be undergirded by wisdom derived from meditation on Scripture, the filing of the Holy Spirit, advice from others (this is where quality literature on parenting can be very helpful if it is balanced and based on biblical principles), and relational experience with the child. Ultimately, we should be careful not to rely on any one human method that, no matter how biblical it may claim to be, is always one step removed from the Bible. Our supreme trust should be in God and in his Word, and we must humbly acknowledge that our understanding of Scripture is not to be equated with the teaching of Scripture itself.
In this relationship of parenting, there must be a balance of unconditional love, spiritual nurture, and discipline (Eph. 6:4) in a context of discipleship and Christian growth (2 Pet. 3:18). Biblical parenting requires that parents understand are not merely disobedient, they are also sinful, and they are disobedient because they are sinful. Hence, children ultimately need salvation, not merely parental discipline. Moreover, as mentioned, children are also “simple” in the scriptural meaning of that term (see Prov. 1:22), which requires parental instruction, training, and constant cultivation, much like a garden needs to be tended continually and consistently.
Parents, too, are sinners, and so must guard against putting their own interests above those of their children. Are they concerned that their children disobey in public simply because this causes them embarrassment? Do they want them to do well in school simply because this brings prestige and recognition for them as parents? Do they want them to choose a particular career or to choose a particular mate because this renders them socially more acceptable or desirable? Do they make decisions regarding their children’s education primarily on the basis of their own convenience daycare, babysitters, grandparents, etc.) rather than on the basis of what is best for their children?”
Gleaning Wisdom from All Sources March 24, 2007
Posted by Erin in : General Lessons , add a commentJoe,
Thanks for the reminder that we need to read all we can! I know in parenting, it is easy for me to read one book and think it has the answer and then sit back and relax. Just as we as members of Christ all bring a different aspect to the body, so our writings as Christians are not fully complete. We all have a piece of the puzzle, but never have it ALL figured out!
I was thinking about searching out wisdom in books, but also the way we must search out wisdom of other godly parents. The body is such a wonderful blessing and needs to be taken full advantage of to glean all the wisdom we can from others.
Why is it that I am often so slow to ask for advice from others? I know for me my pride will get in the way of seeking out the knowledge of others. I want others to think I have it all together in parenting and don’t need any help! But this could not be further from the truth. I am always learning every day and we could serve one another so much better as parents to be real about our struggles. Too often the striving for the facade leads us to want to cover up our areas of weakness.
Someone has to take the first step though. Often when one person opens up, a flood gate will come pouring out of real fellowship. So in parenting, if you see someone who has children whose hearts, attitudes and behaviors reflect Jesus, ask them what they do! Look to gain any wisdom you can for others. Open up about your own struggles and see if they have any insight to share. They may have had a similar struggle and some victories to speak of!
If our goal is to raise children who love Jesus and not simply have a family that looks good on the outside then we will do all we can to gain wisdom from books and others. It isn’t easy, but the fruit will be worth it!
Seeking the wisdom of others with you,
Erin
The Need to Be Informed March 23, 2007
Posted by Joe in : General Lessons , add a commentErin,
I was indeed thankful that you enjoyed your long walk. I still don’t understand how you can walk that long and enjoy it, but hey, walk all you wish my dear–as long as you don’t have me with you! Anyhow, a thought (just one) came to mind while reading your last post. It concerned our great need to be informed.
I suppose that instead of the word ‘informed’ I could use ‘educated.’ That is what I mean really. For I was thinking about how many parents don’t have a clue what they are doing with their kids. They are either doing what their parents did or whatever they think best. Surely this is the height of arrogance. And surely I am by no means beyond such a thing. For I have been recently convicted on my need to read more books!
Naturally, they won’t all be parenting books, but many parenting books must be included. Though we have always liked to read, we are not as well read as I think we ought to be or am called to be. And of course, it won’t look the same for everyone, but suffice it to say that if we want to be good parents, we need to gain a lot of wisdom from people mush wiser that ourselves. Of course, there are many people, but we must pick our resources carefully and discern as we read.
In relationship to parenting, I was thinking about the fact that reading parenting books is simply not enough. We need to be informed in every sort of discipline, particular theological disciplines. In short, we need to be really well read.
Also worth mentioning is the fact that we should listen to great sermons and seminars on various topics–particularly parenting as it relates to this blog of course! There is such wealth of information and opportunities for growth that sometimes it can be overwhelming. But to choose a few simple things to listen to periodically and to set aside some time to search is surely a good use of the Lord’s time. In fact, I think He would encourage it!
All this musing is simple to say: let us labor to be very well read. We have gone in spurts for the most part I believe. This is good in some sense, but I think we need to make a greater effort to find all we can and read all we can to the glory of our great God and for the good of our children. I wonder: will we get to Heaven and regret having read too much? Probably not. So let’s go for it my dear.
Seeking to read and live well with you,
Joe
p.s. schedule your walk for next week soon!
My Morning Out March 22, 2007
Posted by Erin in : General Lessons , add a commentJoe,
As you know I was blessed by you to have a couple of hours to spend any way I wanted this morning. As I thought about what I could do to refresh my soul, I thought back to a time when I was extremely refreshed. The time I thought about was our few months we spent in Greece. Now one reason I was so refreshed was because we had no kids and I could sleep as long as I wanted every night! But as far as being spiritually refreshed, I thought about a few things that I did in that time:
1. I had daily quiet times in prayer and the Word.
2. I read a lot of great books that fed my soul.
3. I exercised regularly.
4. I took a walk almost every night and listened to a sermon or soul-feeding music.
I thought about if there were any of these practices that I was missing out on these days. The first three I was still participating in (although the time is much shorter now with kids), but I was missing out on the fourth. So I took over two hours and walked around the city listening to three different messages.
The messages I listened to were 1) “What a Mom Can’t Do Without” by C.J. Mahaney, 2) “Jesus is in Your Boat” by Carolyn Mahaney and 3) “Parenting Seminar, Part 2″ by Kenneth Maresco. All were a great refreshment to my soul, but C.J.’s message in particular spoke to me, so I thought I would share some of those points here. And they do tie into the gospel as well!
First of all, just to encourage young moms out there. C.J. started off his message to young mothers telling them they were doing the hardest job and the most important job. This was a breath of fresh air to my soul, especially coming from a man who preaches and writes and effects thousands. He still believes our job to be harder and more important. The reason this was a refreshment to me was that I can often start to believe the judgment coming from the world that house wives are lazy, unintelligent and just sitting around playing all day. We are often seen as the lowest class of citizens. But it is just a lie from hell, so I want to encourage all the other young moms who are raising their children to keep persevering!
C.J.’s main point in the message was that we need faith. His text was from Hebrews 11:6. He emphasized greatly our need to trust God as mothers. He made mention that when on a panel for a parenting seminar a few years ago, he and Carolyn had been asked what was one thing they would go back and change about their parenting if they could. He said Carolyn immediately answered that she would trust God more. I know that despair often sets in for me and I am not trusting in God. I wonder if He has put me in the right place or given me the right kids!
The point that really drove things home to me was when he talked about the difference between faith and unbelief. He said that faith looks at God’s promises, while unbelief looks at the hard circumstances. I was hit with how much I had been focusing on the difficulties I was encountering, instead of the promises God has given us in His Word.
C.J. then finished by practically speaking on how we can increase our faith. He mentioned making our spiritual diet very particular in this stage of motherhood. When Carolyn was in this season, he recommended she focus her reading on the attributes of God and the promises of God. I had remember reading somewhere that Noel Piper made it a focus of her Bible reading for a year to note all the different attributes of God. So I am resolving to search the Scriptures eagerly as I read for promises that I can meditate upon during my days.
C.J. also made mention to something I was thinking as I listened, which was how the promises pertain to the gospel. If we are to truly believe the promises, we must be gospel-centered people. The promises are only for us if we have been bought and saved by the blood of Jesus. Only then do all their promises find their “yes” in Jesus for us. He who did not spare His own Son, also gives us great promises to live by, as He graciously gives us all things! Hallelujah!
So those are some thoughts from my morning. Thank you, love, for giving me the chance to get out and get re-focused!
Hoping in the promises through the gospel,
Erin