Primary Components–The Word of God April 30, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Family Worship Series , 1 comment so farErin,
Great job keeping things going last week. I am thankful for your diligence and I trust I am not alone. Your insights on inconsistency were especially needed, I believe. Well, now it is time to move into our next section–The Primary Components of Family Worship. The first one we come to is, of course, the Word of God, the Bible, the Scriptures!
I am not overstating the case to say that there is nothing more important than how well we know the Word of God. So many great men have said this that I’m not sure who I should quote. There is simply nothing more important. For it is the knowledge of the Scriptures that ushers us into the knowledge of God. It is the knowledge of the Scriptures that enables us to view our world rightly. It is the means by which we can come to a proper understanding of our own hearts and our own time and culture and societal values. It is the chief means through which the Holy Spirit renews our thoughts and affections. Where there is ignorance of Scripture, there is darkness. Where there is the knowledge of Scripture, there is light. It really is that simple.
So, when it comes to leading our homes and in particular, to the daily practice of family worship times, what could be more important that daily exposure to the Word of God? I can’t think of anything can you!? Family Worship is a wonderful time for this exposure, particularly for young ones. Just imagine, day in and day out, being guided through the Word of God by Dad and Mom. A short reading and short explanation will suffice.
It doesn’t have to be anything fancy really. And as we said, there are plenty of resources to help. But a short reading and explanation each day goes a long way to renewing your minds in accordance with the Word. Not to mention, the daily exposure serves to bring a certain degree of ‘comfort’ with the Scriptures. This is why there should not be any kid who is raised in the church who does not know his way around the Bible–or who is not comfortable with his knowledge of its contents. Where this discomfort and ignorance is presence, Dad has failed. There is simply no other way to put it. Maybe the church has failed to properly prepare Dad. That is often the case. Leaders are not leading as they should. But either way, Dad is responsible for exposing his children to the Word of God. Nothing else can be so important.
This leads me back to my 10 minutes per day statistic. Imagine that you expose your children to the Word of God (reading and explanation) for only 5 minutes per day. Let’s add up the numbers. 5 minutes per day leads to 150 minutes per month. Yes, that is 2 and 1/2 hours per month at 5 minutes a day! Now times that by 12 and you end up with 1800 minutes per year–or 30 hours! Yes, that is over a whole day! Now times that by 16 years and you end up with 480 hours–or 20 twenty-four hour days! That is amazing.
So, if during the course of 16 years or so, if you spend only 5 minutes per day reading and explaining the Scriptures to your children, you end up teaching them for a total of 480 hours or 20 twenty-four hour days. What more needs to be said? Let’s go at it!
As I said, we will recommend some helps. I know it isn’t easy, but as I say often, nothing worthwhile is easy. That is just the way things are in this fallen world. Maybe in Heaven all will run smoothly, but right now, it is surely a battle. Let us pray for the grace to fight!
Exposing our kids to the Word with you (little by little),
Joe
Children Desiring God April 28, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Links , add a commentJoe,
As many may know the Children’s Desiring God Conference is currently going on in Minneapolis. So I thought I would link to the Desiring God blog that is giving all the updates on the conference. The link will take you to all the posts on Children Desiring God where you can also find their online catalog to check out!
Seeking Him,
Erin
Pitfalls Part 5 - Inconsistency April 27, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
I will just keep rolling here and finish up our section on the pitfalls with the last area we wanted to address: inconsistency.
As in many areas of our lives, when something is not a consistent part of our lives, it can easily fall by the way side. I remember reading a study that those who exercise first thing in the morning are more likely to stick with it for life. Is it that morning time is a better time for exercise? No. It is simply because many things that are done in the mornings become ingrain habits and done on a daily basis.
So it is with family worship time, it is often those who try and just fit it in “whenever” that find a week has gone by without spending time worshiping together as a family. So that brings me to the first area of consistency: time. Try and find a time that you will be able to stick to daily for family worship time. Now it doesn’t have to be an exact number on the clock, but maybe a general time like “after breakfast”. I know this can be tough! With Joe’s job we have a different schedule almost every day, that is why we would advise doing it as early in the day as possible. This way there are as few unexpected surprises that have come and changed the day.
I think if you are consistent on a time it will lead to consistency in the second area: making sure it happens every day. Not only do you need to be consistent on a time, but family worship time needs to be a priority. Only when you think of it as such will you be sure to have it happen daily. Just as with private time with the Lord, your day should just “not feel right” when you haven’t spent time together worshiping as a family.
The third area you want to be consistent in is your agenda. Once you decide how the family time should run, try to keep it relatively the same most days. This will make it easier on everyone involved when they know what to expect. Here I would also recommend that you have an alternate plan on those days when time is very scarce. For us, we will usually cut out Abby’s Bible reading and catechism questions and just have Joe pray when it is a day we don’t have a lot of time.
And lastly, don’t let visitors affect your family worship time. Invite them to join you! It is a wonderful way to fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ. And with unbelievers it can be a great witness.
Life is full of unexpected moments, but striving to keep family worship time as a consistent part of your days no matter what brings great blessing!
Striving for consistency,
Erin
Pitfalls Part 4- Underestimation of Child April 26, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
We certainly had an eventful few days here, but as usual God did a good work through the valleys! I am thankful to be traveling through this journey with you!
So I will get to the fourth pitfall that I alluded to on Monday because I said it was the other side of the coin with overestimating what a child can do. So the other side of the coin is obviously UNDERestimating our children.
I think many parents fall into this trap especially when it comes to what age to start family time at. Just like reading to a child, I think this is an area that can be started right away. A newborn can sit by in a bouncy seat or lay on a blanket nearby while family time happens. Or one of the parents can hold the child on their lap, which is always a good way to begin training for sitting on a lap. Although they may not fully “get it”, the daily time will quickly become a habit.
Another area we can underestimate our children is in the area of memorization. Now I am not saying you need to drill your children or give them weekly tests, but they can begin memorizing often at a much earlier age than we expect. Children memorize simply by hearing something over and over again. Abby had memorized a number of hymns by age 2 1/2 years simply because we sang them over and over again. This was not something she was drilled on. The same goes for Scripture memory. To read a section over and over again for weeks will get it into a toddler’s mind quite easily.
Parents may also think that their children simply “cannot” sit still long enough for a 15 minute family time. It is true that maybe they “will not” right now, but that does not mean they cannot be trained to do so. Of course, there are some conditions that may prohibit a child from sitting still, but more often than not it is a lack of training.
I would like to also make a quick interjection here on the subject of television. I think many children today do not sit still due to the amount of television that is being watched. To quote John Rosemond on the problem of television watching and attention span, “The ’steady’ picture on a television screen is an optical illusion, changing, on average, every three to four seconds. Because of this constant perpetual shift, or flicker, the TV-watching child isn’t attending to any one thing for longer than a few seconds. As a result, watching television is a strangely paradoxical situation for the young child. The more time spent watching television, the shorter then attention span becomes.” And again he says, “I’d come to the inescapable conclusion that the constantly flickering image on a television screen actually disables the young brain’s ability to develop a long attention span. Since a long attention span is essential to impulse control, I further concluded that the TV-watching encumbered the development of good self-control, leading to behavior problems that in all likelihood would not have otherwise existed.” I know these are strong words for some parents, and I am not suggesting that your children can not watch television as ours do, or as John Rosemond’s didn’t, but maybe just to think about whether television is keeping your child from developing other habits that may lead them into greater godliness and love for God.
I pray we would all strive along side our children to buffet our bodies and make them our slaves lest we be disqualified from the race! Although it is never easy, let us stretch ourselves beyond what we may think is possible and press on into the fullness of Jesus!
Seeking Him,
Erin
Praying for our Children April 25, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Links , add a commentErin,
So you and I have been a bit busy the past few days hey. I’ll say. But lest we miss another day, I wanted to make a quick post. I came across this post today and wanted to share it with everyone. Let’s do our best to pray those prayers consistently for our children. And let us always remember that the Lord delights to act for those who wait for Him. And one of the ways we wait is through faithful, perseverant prayer!
Praying for our children with you,
Joe
Pitfalls Part 3 - Overestimation of Child April 23, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
That was a good post on the planning of family worship. Just a few minutes of planning saves tons of time in the end! This is especially important for those families who do not feel they have enough time for family worship.
I am onto the 3rd pitfall today. This pitfall will be one side of the coin (the other which will be discussed tomorrow). On this side of the pitfall coin is the overestimation of what a child can and should do in family worship.
This is where it can be wise of a parent to know two things. Number one is that you need to know what is developmentally appropriate at the age your child (or children) are at. Obviously our three-year-old cannot be expected to read during family worship because she doesn’t know how to read yet. Secondly, you need to know your own child. What are their strengths and weaknesses. While some children can be expected to start memorizing Scripture at a young age, for other children this may be too much.
You will save yourself a lot of hassle if you are not trying to force children to do things that they are not developmentally ready for yet. Another thing to consider when considering what your child is capable of doing is the order of events in family worship. For example, we had been singing a hymn, then reading a story from Abby’s Bible, then reading a chapter from our Bible, doing Scripture memorization, working on catechism questions and then praying. We started to see that Abby was getting tired by the end and was not doing as well on her catechism questions. So we switched her Bible reading to right before prayer to put the memorization and catechism questions (which would be more taxing for Abby) earlier on in our time, so she was fresher.
Also try and keep in mind that things like memorizing hymns, Scripture and catechism questions with your young ones are not a race. It is going to take them time and it doesn’t need to be rushed through. It may take us 2-3 weeks to finally have a hymn memorized. Don’t worry about the time, focus on fellowship with the Lord and the fruit that will be borne from it!
Slow and steady with you,
Erin
Pitfalls Part 2–Lacking a Plan April 20, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Family Worship Series , add a commentErin,
That was a good hiatus yesterday. Very practical. I hope it was a help to some. Either way though, it is a help to actually put those thoughts down in writing isn’t it? It just helps to reinforce our convictions. For that I am thankful. I’m also thankful that ‘the dude’ (as we like to call him) keeps his hat on now!
Anyhow, I switched the order up on this section a bit, so our pitfall for family worship part 2 is now the lack of a distinct plan.
Now, I do find it interesting that I am writing this piece, particularly because I am the one who often decides last minute on the day’s hymn! I’m a work in progress as you know full well. That being said, we still have a very distinct order to our times together as a family. And order is most definitely a good thing. Indeed, I believe it is a godly thing. For the Lord Himself is a God of order, perfect-order! So we are wise to imitate Him.
As it relates to family time, the first thing I would say is that there is a great deal of freedom as to what ‘family worship’ can consist of. Of course, there are the mainstays–which we will discuss more later–of Bible reading, prayer and song. Those are a given I believe, but what kind of order an individual family takes depends on their situation. You could use a reading plan like McCheyne’s or a devotional book that guides you through particular readings (again, we will suggest more at a later date). For prayer, you could have everyone pray (which we do) or just have the father prayer (which we do at times). For the singing of hymns, you could vary it up each day or sing one for a solid week or so in order to memorize it (which we like to do). Then there are catechisms, Bible memory, etc. etc.
That being said, such freedom requires responsible and orderly decisions. Whatever you want to do, go for it. Today’s emphasis is simply: Have a plan for how you will go for it! What comes first? What comes second? On and on. In short: What is the plan?!
The reason this is so vital to mention is because without a distinct plan, time is bound to be wasted. And if you only have 10-20 minutes set aside, time cannot be wasted! It is our conviction that family worship often fades out because of a lack of clear order. So a plan is needed. A plan is necessary. Whatever it is, make sure you have a clear plan!
Fathers, I would exhort you, in particular, to ‘get on the ball’ here. This is your responsibility. Don’t shrug it off to Mom. Lead the home. Make the call. Take the 5 minutes to plan out how your family will worship the Lord. Take into consideration the season of life you are in. Right now we, for example, are in a nice grove, but that is bound to change at some point. I will have to regroup and make some changes to the schedule (which our ordered Abigail is sure to be distraught over!). But in the end, whatever you do, just have a plan! You, and your family (and the host of Heaven for that matter) will be thankful you did!
Seeking Him with you,
Joe
Hiatus April 19, 2007
Posted by Erin in : General Lessons , add a commentJoe,
As we discussed, since I felt like I had one of those “ah-ha” parenting moments this morning, I am going to take a short break from our series on family worship.
Abby has started going to school here in Spain, so 5 days a week, we walk the 20 minutes to school with her and Elijah in the stroller, drop her off and then walk back. Elijah and I then walk back to pick her up after her three hours there and we all walk home. It is getting to be really nice weather here in Spain, so the other day I noticed the sun hitting Elijah’s little fair-haired head. I figured it was time to put a hat on him to protect him from sun burn.
So last night, I got him a hat and put it on his head and he immediately took it off. Again, I put it on and he took it right off. This happened a few times, until I finally thought “He won’t wear a hat.” As soon as I had processed the thought it hit me how wrong that thought was! It wasn’t that he WOULDN’T wear it, it was that I had not trained him to wear it yet. Yes, maybe he did not like, but that did not mean I had to throw my hands up in desperation as if it could never happen.
I realized how often we can come to these false conclusions as parents. We let our children determine what they want to do and then phrase it with “He/she won’t….” as if to say there is nothing we can do about it.
So when I realized the error of my thinking, I decided he was going to need a bit of training. So this morning before leaving to take Abby to school, I put Elijah in the stroller early. I put the hat on his head and immediately he reached up to take it off. I gave him a firm “no” and put it back on his head. He gave me one of his big, goofy smiles and reached up and snatched it off again. This time he got a “no” delivered with a firm smack on the hand. He looked very insulted, but decided it was worth it to give it another try. So once again the hat came off and he received a “no” and a smack. This time the little lip came out and started to quiver. So he waited a few minutes and felt sorry for himself and then decided to try it again. He met the same result. Then it looked as if he had gotten the message, so we headed out the door. But as kids usually do, he needed to test the waters again once in the elevator and saw that Mommy was going to stay consistent on this one. So we enjoyed a 40 minute ride in the stroller with his hat on the entire time!
Now, this is not to say when we went to pick Abby up that he did not make an attempt again. Kids will always test to see if you are going to remain consistent. And I am sure tomorrow morning he will try again. But it was a wonderful lesson to me that we can train our children to do the things we want them to do. Now this was not just something that was for my convenience or fancy, but to protect his little head from sunburn. Are there other things in our children’s lives that we say they “won’t” do that we could possibly train them to do that would bring great benefit into their lives? Say for instance, only eating junk food. Or not reading books but watching television. Or waking up at early hours or going to bed late. It was a great lesson to me that I am the parent and it is our job to train our children in areas where we feel they need to obey in order to reap the benefits of what will be best for them.
Training with you for the glory of God,
Erin
Pitfalls Part 1- Trying to Do Too Much April 18, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
Thanks for a great wrap-up on the benefits section. I know I have been humbled time and again with the different aspects of family worship. In particular it brings the pride low when your three year old is memorizing Scripture better than you!
So the next section we wanted to discuss were some of the pitfalls of family worship. These are areas we can slip into trouble on. When one of these comes our way we miss out on showcasing the glory of God and experiencing the joy family worship was created for.
So the first area we wanted to discuss was the problem of trying to do too much in the family worship time. Sometimes the thought of family worship is so daunting to parents that they put off starting something that is meant to refresh because they feel like it is such a burden. This often stems from this lofty idea of what family worship is meant to be.
I think this especially is a struggle with fathers who do not feel adequate to lead their family in times of worship. Men, you do not have to preach a sermon or be able to give the Greek definitions of all the different words in a certain paragraph! Any man with a love for the Lord can be a great leader to his family’s worship time.
Family worship time does not have to consist of a lot. You could keep it to simply reading a section of Scripture and praying. If you would like to and have time to, try adding in a hymn. And to really enhance the time you could memorize Scripture and work on catechism questions with the kids.
We have another part of this series coming up in which we will recommend resources for family worship time. There are so many great helps out there for parents, that there is really no need for it to be a daunting task. You really don’t have to try and make it a full blown, cover-every-single-aspect, mini-church worship service. Keep it simple and focus on blessing your heart and your children’s heart with the Word and prayer!
Seeking Him,
Erin
Practical Benefits Part 4- Humility April 17, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Family Worship Series , 3 commentsErin,
That was a good practical post you made yesterday. It is always interesting to see how small disciplines can have great effects. I mentioned the 10 minute per day discipline last week (and again, 15 is probably better!) and have since implemented that for a few other things. The benefit has been wonderful! Too often we think that we don’t have the time to do certain things, but that is because we somehow think we are supposed to do it all at once! Memorizing Scripture for example, at only 10 minutes per day will lead you into some wonderful territory. I am seeing the fruit right now.
Anyhow, I am onto our final point for this section, namely, another practical benefit of daily gathering as a family to worship the Lord is growth in humility.
Now, under this heading, I could probably go numerous directions. My first inclination would be to talk about the way in which humbling yourself before the Lord each day through prayer and Bible reading is a means by which you truly grow in humility. That would be good. In fact, that is central and foundational, but that isn’t what we had in mind for this section. Because this is the ‘practical’ section, we were thinking about the humbling effects of reading Scripture in front of others and praying in front of others and memorizing Scripture (or a catechism) in front of (or with) others.
This might not seem like a big deal to some, but we all know plenty of people who have a hard time praying in front of others or reading or reciting or whatever. I know that that was the case with me for quite some time and also with you. What a freedom for a child to be secure enough on the Word and within his own home to willingly recite the Scriptures or pray in front of others. Surely, this begins at home. It doesn’t end there, but it most certainly begins there.
So maybe we would be better to describe this benefit as increased ‘transparency.’ That is, if a child learns to daily come before the Lord each day–under the Word, in prayer, and also in song (which I forgot to mention earlier)–when he leaves the home for sunday school or school or hanging out with friends in his teenage years, he will be much more apt to be transparent and secure. We all know that we are usually more secure and transparent with things that we are well acquainted with. How often do Christians shy away from conversations about the Bible, b/c deep down they know they don’t have the answers! They don’t know their Bibles well enough! They lack security and thus, transparency.
Let us labor to serve our children by making them very familiar with their Bibles and in prayer and in song. Doing so in the family setting will most certainly serve them in all of life!
Seeking Him with you,
Joe