Benefits Part 3- Self-Control April 16, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
That was an excellent way to look at the benefit of growing in knowledge. It gave me a new vigor to commit other things to a simple 10 minutes a day!
The third area of benefit that I am addressing today is the discipline children gain in self-control. Anyone that has young ones knows how hard it can be for them to sit still for any amount of time. But this is an area that we can all be trained in (even the adults out there who have trouble sitting still and focusing for 10 minutes!)
In the discipline of sitting still and paying attention, the younger you start the better! We did not start true family time until Abby was over a year old. So we were behind the 8 ball with her and had to work a little harder to break some already formed habits. Elijah is 11 months old and is now joining us for family time when we do it at a time he is awake. As with any habit, the earlier you start the easier it is to establish and the less bad habits to undo!
This is an incredible benefit not only to making your family time peaceful, but also for other areas of life. What a joy it is to have children that you can take places and know they understand what it means to sit still and be quiet! This has benefited us in many areas of life. With living overseas and traveling, we have to spend long flights on the plane with our young children. When they have been trained to sit they don’t need to be running all over the plane and disturbing other passengers. This is one small way we can be a light for Jesus to the world. Another situation this has benefited us is in church. Here in Spain, there is no nursery for the children until the sermon begins. So that means for the first hour of church, the kids are with us. It has been great to have kids who are trained to sit with us.
The mention of church also brings me to think of the benefit of self-control in preparation for joining parents in the worship service on Sunday mornings. We are planning on having Abby begin sitting up with us possibly this summer. With the training she has had in family worship time, this should be an easier transition.
So what are some practical things you can do to instill this self-control of children during family worship time? First of all, silence is expected from the children, except when they have been addressed or are expected to join in (as in the instance of the singing of a hymn or the reciting of Scripture). They also need to sit still, facing forward. Abby was having some problems with wanting to rub her shoes together as we sat there at one time. Those sort of issues need to be addressed. Elijah being younger, is expected to sit on my lap, facing forward. He loves to turn around and pull up to stand on my legs. But at this time, he needs to sit facing forward. Another challenge with young ones is teaching them to keep control of their hands. Elijah is often wanting to grab at the pages of the hymnal or Bible, but must be trained not to touch. One last thing to look out for is the children distracting one another. Right now our little ones love each other dearly (praise God) but it can lead to them distracting one another. Make sure the older is setting a good example for the younger.
You will see an amazing benefit in your children learning to sit still for even 10 minutes at a time. Self-control is a wonderful fruit God blesses our children with through family worship time!
Training our children in self-control with you,
Erin
Recommended Resource April 15, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Recommendations , add a commentJoe,
This resource comes from Ligon Duncan’s church in Jackson, Mississippi. The book is called “Train Up a Child” and is a guide for training your child year by year, and even includes hymns to learn and books to read each year. Although, we would not agree with the infant baptism point of view, it is sure to be grounded theologically! The link will take you to the whole bookstore, but I am referring to the first book listed. I am sure the others are good as well though!
Training our children with you,
Erin
Link April 14, 2007
Posted by Erin in : General Lessons , add a commentJoe,
I wanted to recommend an article by Carolyn Mahaney on parental discipline. She focuses it mainly towards mothers and daughters, but it can easily be applied to father and sons as well.
Seeking Him with you,
Erin
Benefits Part 2- Growth in Knowledge April 13, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Family Worship Series , add a commentErin,
That was well said yesterday. I hope others were encouraged as much as I was. Today’s topic is focused on our growth in knowledge as we daily set aside to gather together as a family to worship the Lord.
Here are some basic calculations. Imagine that we gather together for 10 minutes a day (15-20 is preferable in my opinion). That’s very reasonable I believe. And imagine that those 10 minutes consisted of reading the Word, praying and singing a hymn. We might be able to add catechism teaching, etc, but we are keeping things simple here. Well, at 10 minutes a day, you are spending about 5 hours a month praying, reading and singing. Then times that number by 12 and you are spending 60 hours a year–two and a half days!
That is awesome isn’t it? Of course, this rings true for anything that you might spend 10 minutes doing, but our focus here in family time. At only 10 minutes per day, we are exposing ourselves to glorious Bible truths at a clip of 2 and 1/2 full days a year. Naturally, we are going to grow in our knowledge of the Word and our enjoyment of great hymns and learning how to pray!
Our children, in particular, will learn of these great disciplines from our family times together. They will learn how to pray by hearing us pray for hours (when added up of course). They will learn to appreciate and exult over the Word of God by seeing us do the same for days (in total of course). They will learn how to sing with their minds and hearts to the Lord as they hear us do the same. On and on. They are bound to grow in the knowledge of God and to learn how to pursue Him themselves. Why not spend the 10 minutes per day?!
As it relates particularly to knowledge, the point is clear. Continual exposure to the Word of God is what every single human being needs. It is the way to grow in wisdom. Indeed, it is the only ultimate way!
With all that being said, let us be diligent to gather as a family daily before our great and awesome God! Time adds up. Our children might not become sound theologians in a day, but over the course of years, through constant exposure to the Word and sound theology through hymns, that will probably take place. They will soak it in everyday and be all the better for it.
Seeking to be diligent with you,
Joe
Benefits Part 1- Intimacy of Relationship April 12, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
I will forgive you for wandering from our well-planned mind map of the family worship series. I think the reflections on reward were a warranted diversion!
Today I am going to start in on the second area we wanted to discuss on family worship, which is the benefits it brings to the family. You hit upon rewards yesterday, but these will be tangible effects you will experience from spending time worshiping together as a family.
The first area we wanted to speak about was the growth in intimacy between the members of your family. And many of you can probably attest to this in other relationships in your lives, not just in regards to family worship. I know when Joe and I were engaged, one of the chief ways we grew in intimacy with one another was by faithfully praying together every night. Whether it was in person or on the phone, whether it was for 15 minutes or 5 minutes, those times of prayer drew us closer together in intimacy.
In family worship, you will have many opportunities to grow in intimacy as you pray, sing, read the Word and memorize Scripture together. God does something supernatural in our relationships with one another when we focus on Him. Many of you have probably heard the analogy of a triangle when it comes to couples. God is the apex of the triangle, while the two people are the two bottom points. As they each grow closer to God, they grow closer to one another as well. When a family is focused on God together, they naturally grow in love and intimacy with one another as well.
You may be thinking that you are already close with your family. But I would encourage us all to evaluate our definition of a “close family”. I have heard so many people say that their family is “so close”. But can we really experience true intimacy apart from all being fixed upon Jesus?
When you worship together as a family you are able to share your struggles and your fears. In essence, you sin is exposed and you really get to know one another. You see one another cry in prayer and rejoice over a section of the Word. You get to celebrate together as a long section of Scripture is memorized. You may even dance to the Lord during the singing of hymns as our daughter will do at times. These are intimate moments that are rarely shared with others.
This is a wonderful benefit and will serve to strengthen not only the relationships in your family, but also the love for the Creator of your family!
Growing in intimacy with you,
Erin
Big Picture Part 5- Eternal Rewards April 11, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Family Worship Series , add a commentErin,
I realize that the outline I gave you didn’t have a part five, but that was simply because I just thought of it now! Of course, I am sure that there is much more than what we have to say, but this one was on my heart today, so I figured I would share it.
In particular, I was thinking about Jesus’ words in Matthew 25. In the parable of the talents, he tells the story of three men whose master entrusted to them part of his property–one servant received 5 talents, another received 2, and one other received one. It is probably a familiar parable to most of those who read this blog, so we remember the master’s words to those faithful servants, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master” (v. 21; 23).
Now, surely we will have to give an account to God for how we raised our children. And if the worship of God was not central to our homes, how do we expect to impart that to them? We can’t really, of course. As this regards family worship though, I would like to point out that the simple discipline of daily family worship can serve to bring a greater God-centeredness to our homes. The reason I think this is important to point out is because I know I am apt to say that our failure to be faithful with family worship is an indication that we are not centered on God. But it also works the other way. Daily gathering as a family to worship the Lord is a means through which we become more God-centered (which we all need to be).
We have pointed this out already to some degree, but I think it is good to make plain here. This is a discipline that is absolutely necessary because it is a means to saturating our homes with God. And, as the text I quoted above points to, it is a means through which we can faithfully raise our children to the glory of God. That is, this simple practice can serve as one faithful act that the Lord Himself will commend one day. “Well done…”
I know I want to hear that from Him–and so do you. This practice is nothing fancy, and it is not always easy (or ever easy), but it is rewarding indeed. For if it can serve to help us saturate our homes with God and center our children’s hearts (and homes!) on God, the rewards will be sweet and they will be eternal.
So, when we are struggling to do what we know we should one day, let us think about hearing those precious words from the Father, “Well done….”
Seeking to be faithful and fruitful with you,
Joe
Big Picture Part 4- Evangelism April 10, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
That was great stuff on the vision of family worship in light of the local church. It would be wonderful to see a church experiment and see what might happen if families vowed to spend time worshiping together and see the results that came.
Today I am tackling the fourth part of the vision of family worship, which is a view towards evangelism. This is one that I believe will make a tremendous impact on our children as they grow older and begin to understand all we are praying about.
In our time together as a family, one of the things we do is to spend time in prayer. In this time of prayer, we daily pray for those family members who do not know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. We also look to pray for missionaries who are serving the church in unreached places of the world. These two areas, I believe will serve to give our children a heart for evangelism of the lost.
First of all, the more we pray for the lost, the more our hearts are stirred for the lost. If our hearts are truly engaged in petitioning our Heavenly Father for the salvation of those who do not know Him, it will naturally follow that our words and actions will also look to show Jesus as precious to these people. This may lead to giving money and possibly going ourselves to the unreached places of the earth or simply sharing a word of truth with a family member.
Another way this family worship time serves to give us a greater heart for evangelism is in special connection with our children. When our children hear us praying for the salvation of family members and friends, it suddenly becomes very clear to them who is a Christian and who is not. Although we are not God and cannot ultimately judge people’s hearts, when Abby comes and asks us one day “Why isn’t _____ a Christian?” this will be a wonderful opportunity to speak of the true fruits of Christianity. Although it will be interesting to figure out how to share that she prays for them to be saved, but doesn’t go and announce to them that Daddy and Mommy says he/she is not a Christian!
May our hearts be stirred up for the lost as we spend time praying for them in our family worship times. Praying for the lost with you,
Erin
Big Picture Part 3- The Church April 9, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Family Worship Series , add a commentErin,
I am sure that we could always say much more about any topic we mention, but I think it is wise for us to keep on moving. Therefor, I am going to move forward today by discussing the way in which daily gathering as a family to worship the Lord serves the church. In particular, I am going to focus on how it serves the local church. More could be said about serving the universal church, but the principles are the same either way.
In contemplating the subject, the first thing that came to mind is how many problems we have in the church that would be taken care of if families–and in particular, fathers–were doing what they should do. Think of it. All of the different issues that arise–among children and spouses and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ–simply because we are not centered on the Lord. And that is only to speak about relational issues. We could become even more practical and speak about young children learning how to sit still in their seats during church, so that they are not a distraction to others.
Well, daily family serves the local church in a host of ways. First, and most importantly I believe, it serves to place responsibility for leadership where it deserves, namely, on the father (of if a single home, the parent). For in our day and age, we are much to apt to think that others should be doing what is, in fact, our own responsibility. More and more parents look to the school system to solve their children’s problems and, it could be said, to raise them. So in the church, many seem to think that the elders and Sunday school teachers and whoever should be responsible to instruct their children in righteousness. But nothing could be further from the truth.
Fathers, I will speak especially here to you. You have a wife and children whom you will have to give an account for. This isn’t an option. It is reality. Their spiritual, emotional, intellectual and physical well-beings are under your umbrella. And you will give an account. As it relates to instruction in righteousness, no matter how inept you might feel yourself to be, you are called to lead your home in godliness. And the Lord will honor your efforts. Your wife and children need you to lead. They need you to step up to the plate and do what you know you should. Not only that, but your local church (and the church universal) needs the same.
We serve our local church best not by being out at meetings every night, but instead, by leading our homes in godliness. Imagine if we would really come to embrace this reality! Imagine if men really stepped up to the plate and embraced their high callings to lead and love their homes! Would the church suffer from less meetings? I think not!
Family worship is a given in this context. To lead our homes, we must lead those within by daily coming before the Lord together. If everyone in our local churches got a hold of this vision, things would be no means remain the same. Church leaders, do you emphasize this? Do you train your men in this discipline? We are wise to take a look.
That is enough for now. Erin, let us labor to serve our local body by leading our young ones well.
Seeking Him with you,
Joe
Links April 7, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Links , add a commentErin,
As you know, I haven’t done any posting today, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to let everyone know about Sam Storms’ revised website. There isn’t much to do with parenting on his site (at least not specifically), but we have profited from Sam’s ministry, so I wanted to point others to him. Check it out!
Seeking Him with you,
Joe
Big Picture Part 2- God-Centered Home April 6, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
Thanks for filling in more of part 1. I figured you would do so and will probably have to here as well! For the second part of the vision of family worship, we wanted to hit upon the big picture of being a God-centered home.
Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. This was Jesus telling us that God has to be our everything. He needs to be our center and our passion. This not only holds true for our own personal lives as Christians, but for our marriages, our families, and our churches. And we have the promises that one day He will be the center of the whole world!
So if we say we want Jesus to be the center of our home, we must engage in family worship. Whenever you take the time to do something EVERY day, you communicate that it is important. Anything that is central to your life must be practiced regularly. Just think how odd it would be if someone told you that health was a central part of their life and then told you they exercised 2-4 times a month. It is the same thing when people say their home is centered on Christ when they rarely worship Him together as a family.
To be centered on God as an individual requires a time of focused attention on worshiping Him. The same holds true for a family. Just as an individual person can attend church, wear all the WWJD bracelets they want, know all the latest worship songs and still not have an intimate relationship with Jesus, so a family can attend church, fill their walls with Jesus plaques, play Christian music and know nothing of true God-centeredness.
To be a family (or person) centered on God, you must gaze upon Him. And this can only come by worshiping Him together as a family. Let us strive to consume ourselves with the glory of God in our family worship!
Seeking a God-centered home with you,
Erin