Soaking Them In September 26, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Random Musings , add a commentErin,
As I mentioned to you today, one of the things I am learning while you are away is the importance of soaking our children in. What I mean by that is probably plain to you, but I trust it deserves some more words. Giving thanks. Enjoying the small things, even the inconvenient things. Taking note and even laughing at our children’s small idiosyncrasies.
I suppose it all boils down to giving thanks for them and delighting in them. Too often that is not my disposition. It is to my shame that I often find myself viewing them as if they were inconveniencing me. It’s foolishness I realize, but sin usually is quite foolish it seems. Rather than soaking them in, that is, instead of giving thanks for who they are now and enjoying every minute of parenting, I am too often concerned with getting other things done–things which often pale in comparison to enjoying and leading my children.
Of course, I am by no means saying that our whole worlds should revolve around them. The last thing I want to do is create a child-centered atmosphere. After all, I do not want to ruin them! But I think I can still rejoice in them without focusing all my attention on them. And I confess, the balance is tough!
But here we have little three-year-old Abigail with her intense personality and the dude, otherwise known as one-year-old Elijah with a different personality, but intense nonetheless. Here we have these two little children who look to us for virtuallly everything– at least for now. They watch our every moment and in a sense, know or can feel our every emotion. So the last thing I want them to feel is that they are somehow getting in the way of my accomplishing something greater than raising them to the glory of God. Forgive me for my failure here. I have not led you well.
Instead of all of that, I want them to know that their father rejoices in them, that he gives thanks for who they are and who the Lord will one day make them. For isn’t this exactly how we ought to feel about God. Here we are with a Father in Heaven who delights in His children, rejoicing to do them good all His days. And I suppose that our failure to delight in our children the way the Lord delights in us flows from our failure to see God as He really is. As always, it all comes back to our vision of God.
Well, that is enough for now love. I just wanted to write out some of these thoughts for my own soul. It is always good.
Giving thanks for our children,
Joe
So Slow to Believe
Posted by Joe in : Links , add a commentErin,
I was going to write this post on unbelief on this blog, but decided to do so on the Seeking Him blog instead. It relates Abigail’s inclination towards unbelief–and ours. After writing it, I could not help but give thanks for the Lord’s patience and vow to grow in patience myself.
Seeking Him with you,
Joe
Aiding in Our Sanctification September 24, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Random Musings , add a commentErin,
So you are away for the next few days and I am on my own (more or less) with Abby and Elijah. I am looking forward to it really, even though I will surely be stretched a bit more than usual. This experience may make me take back my book idea: Lessons Learned in My Week as a Mom. Or maybe not.
Anyhow, it is time for bed, but I wanted to rely a quick delight. As I was tucking in Abigail, she requested “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing!” for the night’s hymn. Naturally, I sung it to her. But what I realized in that moment was that when we teach our children great hymns, we serve ourselves greatly. For as I sung that hymn to her (one she knows well), I could not help but be caught up into God’s greater joy at the thought of the incarnation. You normally don’t get that in September, but little three-year-olds don’t care about it being September. And praise God they don’t! For even though it is wise and good to set aside a specific time for meditation upon and celebration of the incarnation (i.e. Christmas), we ought not to ignore it the rest of the year. And I would venture to say that we in large part might do so!
So I give thanks tonight for our children–as I always ought. Sure, Abigail has walked downstairs once already and be disciplined for playing in her room rather than sleeping another two times, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Instead, I will give thanks that the Lord has seen fit to give us two little ones, two little ones whom we long to lovingly and powerfully point to Jesus. And two little ones that often do the same for us.
Giving thanks,
Joe
Giving Thanks September 10, 2007
Posted by Joe in : General Lessons, Random Musings , add a commentErin,
I have been in something of a blogging mood tonight. It is a joy to sit down a write, a practice that for me, stirs up my soul and ushers me into greater worship of the Lord. So I thought I would continue with some reflections on parenthood, actually some thanksgivings for parenthood.
Of course, thanksgivings for parenthood naturally imply thanksgivings for our children, so that is indeed what I must do. For the past few days, amidst a bit of activity, I have found myself giving more and more thanks to the Lord for our little ones. It has struck me now, for whatever reason, that Abigail and Elijah will not always be 3 and 1 years old. Now I realize that that isn’t big news to anyone. After all, it’s reality. Life moves on. We grow old. No one can stop it.
But my thinking doesn’t concern the facing of reality so much as it does the desire to ’soak in’ the sweet moments of life. And because of Christ, life is full of sweet moments. Indeed, even the moments that do not seem so sweet are sweet nonetheless. I want my heart to continually be filled with thanksgiving– in all things as the Lord has commanded us. And I especially want this to be true concerning parenthood and our children.
I confess that too often I have looked at our children at times as if they were getting in the way of my doing something else. It is foolish and selfish I realize, but then again, I am oftentimes foolish and selfish! It could be something as simple as moving branches to the curb. In the past (or simply in a worse frame of mind), I may have simply wanted our kids out of the way so that I could finish my work, but today, I invited Abigail to join me and help me. And she was gracious enough to do so–at least for a bit.
And sure, I may not have worked as quickly as I could have were I by myself, but I can say for sure that my time moving those branches out to the curb was full of much more joy because of Abigail’s company. Of course, she did most of the talking (which shows how much she can talk if she can outdo me), but that is exactly what I want really. I want to listen. I want to hear what is going on in her little world. I want to slow down with activities and soak in life with my little Abigail–for she will not always be where she is now.
And as I sit here and think about it, I see that this lesson is a vital one in effective parenting. Slow down. Soak it in. Be thankful. Beware of looking at your children as if they were an inconvenience, as if they were getting in the way of your getting something more important done. For in the end, it is hard to find something that is more important. Yes, I realize that there are plenty of things that need to get done. As you can attest Erin, I am not shy about doing what I have to do to do them. However, raising the little ones the Lord has given us is big piece of my calling in life. So how much else do I really have to do?
Let’s give thanks love. O may the Lord grant us the grace to fill our home with a sweet, joy-filled thanksgiving. May a spirit of gratitude be evident in our every word and deed. May the Lord grant us the grace to slow down and soak in life with our children. And even more, may He do the same for us. For no matter how great the joy may be to soak in life with them, it is always better with you.
Giving thanks,
Joe
Balnerina, Baby-Gates and Open Doors September 5, 2007
Posted by Joe in : General Lessons , add a commentHey love,
I figure it is about time for us to start blogging again. I did see that we had a few visitors here and there, even though we have not blogged in months! It’s funny how we stopped blogging after we came home, funny but not overly surprising considering the considerable amount of increased activity. But it’s all good. We have simply stored up many more lessons to write back and forth about. And many more stories.
As I told you tonight, I wanted to put last night’s incidents in writing, if nothing else for our posterity’s sake. I suppose that I should begin by saying that over the course of the last few months we have been having difficulties getting Abigail to go down to sleep. She is tough isn’t she? Yea, no need to answer. But as I have said before, I like that about her. She doesn’t give up easily. If she wants something, she will endure what she must to see if it can be obtained. Our greatness strength is our greatest weakness. That is evident in her. Let’s pray that the Lord would use her strength mightily to His glory.
Anyhow, she is now sleeping upstairs in her new sweet bedroom. But of course she enjoys visits with her parents now and again, visits that have never turned out to be much more than discipline sessions. Yet she presses on, seeking to break down her parents a bit. Little does she know that she received the strong will from us!
So she comes up with every excuse in the book to come downstairs. Last nights was the best though. For as I was cutting my hair (yes, I do that myself), I hear a little voice outside the bathroom door. After opening it, Abigail walks in and says, “Daddy, I was having a bad dream.” To which I reply, “Abigail, I am having a hard time believing that because you have not fallen asleep yet!” She replies with her characteristic, “Yea…” (Her answer to anything she doesn’t fully understand.) Then I tell her that the only reason I am not going to put the baby gate up (something she definitely does not want to happen) is because I have hair all over me since I am in the middle of my haircut. So she promptly runs upstairs, not forgetting of course to ask me (as she does every single time a couple times over) to leave the door ‘just a little bit open’ for her comfort and sleeping ease. I tell her that I will leave the door a little bit open for the rest of her life and then she goes up to her bedroom (the stairs go straight into her bedroom).
Well about 15 or 20 minutes goes by when I hear a little voice at the stairs crying out in apparent agony, “But you said the door would be a little bit open. Daddy, it has to be a little bit open…..a little bit open….” (you get the picture). So I look up the stairs and there is little Abigail, her controlling little self distraught over the fact that the door is not a little bit open, but almost all the way open. She could not go to sleep with it any other way. So the habit continues where she checks to see if the door is just right before she can go to bed (yes, I know Erin that you will confess that she received that from you, but as we know, I have plenty of that obsessive compulsive disorder type thing going on, so we can share the blame).
So I think things are over when the middle of the night comes. I open my eyes to see little Abigail at the side of my bed. And what does she say but “Daddy, I was having a bad dream.” Once again, I call her bluff and say, “Well Abigail, you are still going to have to go back to bed.” (So understanding I am at 3 in the morning). Then Abigail gets to the real reason she is down there by saying, “Daddy, I can’t find balnerina.” (Yes, the spelling is right, it’s balnerina to this three-year-old). Ahhh, the obsessive compulsive thing again. Half asleep I lose my strength of convictions and use the baby gate threat once again (even though I should have followed through with it in that moment, I just wasn’t sure I had what it took to endure what I would have had to in those moments. Yes, I was probably limited God. But that is another story. Your prayers are appreciated). Well, after hearing about the baby gate once again, Abigail said, “But I don’t want the baby gate to go up.” I replied, “Well then, you better go upstairs and go to sleep. And if you want ballerina (yes, I say it correctly), you will have to find her.”
Abigail doesn’t miss a beat and promptly goes upstairs, only to say a few more times before turning the corner, “Daddy, could you leave the door a little bit open.” “Yes, Abigail, I will.” Thankfully then, the Lord gave us rest until the morning.
In the next few days, I would like to draw out some lessons hidden within these events. But for now, it is time to call it a night. I’m thankful that I got back into the blogging wagon, at least the srsblog blogging wagon. For it is good to relay some of the crazy joys of parenting. I am sure that I am not alone, but there is something special about putting such things in writing. And therein is another lesson. But that will have to wait until another day, for I need to go get some sleep just in case those little feet coming walking down the stairs in search of the balnerina rescue squad and the professional door closers who know how to put that door in the perfect position for sleep.
What a joy it is! I thank God for the pleasure.
Thankful for the joy of leading little ones with you,
Joe