Al Mohler on Children and Technology November 30, 2007
Posted by Joe in : General Lessons, Links , add a commentErin,
First, I want to commend you once again for doing such a wonderful job of posting each week. Your diligence is a consistent encouragement to me. Today won’t be a long post for me, but I thought it would at least be good to get the habit going once again.
Al Mohler writes about the way in which younger children are demanding technological gadgets for Christmas. And demand is indeed a good word. Note the way in which some of the parent’s quoted feel helpless in the face of their children’s demands. What will become of the next generation?
Also, note the way in which this article reinforces our conviction regarding toys and a very limited exposure to television and movies. I am so thankful for being pointed to the various books and resources that led us to make such a decision. Let’s strive to be diligent to provide contexts for them to truly be at play. For that is what children really want and need. Computers games, on the whole, simply do not count. They also fail to bring parents the joy of seeing their children make up their own games and toys. It really is great isn’t it?
Thankful for creative play,
Joe
Where Does Consistency Come From? November 20, 2007
Posted by Erin in : General Lessons , add a commentJoe,
As I mentioned I have been reading through another of John Rosemond’s books called “Making the ‘Terrible’ Twos Terrific”. It has brought a lot of great things to mind and reminded me of a lot of parenting principles I need to be reminded of. I would recommend that every parent read a parenting book every few months to stay sharp and refreshed on the topic of parenting.
As I mentioned in my last post, children are in need of consistency. And that consistency needs to be seen in daily habits, as well as discipline and expectations. But you can’t just expect to be consistent on the spot. Consistency takes planning, or something Rosemond calls “striking while the iron is cold”.
In other words, you need to anticipate problems. We aren’t to simply discipline things as they come when the child has no idea what is expected of them. Children need to know what is expected of them in all situations. This takes a lot more time and planning on the parents’ part, but saves a lot of frustration as well. So what are some ways as parents we can plan to be consistent?
1. Identify areas of weakness in your children. Know situations and times when your children are more prone to sin. For Abby right now, she is having some serious struggles at the dinner table with eating in a timely manner without whining and complaining. This should not surprise us every night if we have identified this area.
2. Come up with a plan. Not only do you need to identify the area, but come up with a plan of how to address it. Be creative and figure out what the child is after and what is inappropriate about the behavior. For Abby, we saw that much of it is often attention she desires, but that is is also rude and disruptive to the rest of us who are trying to eat our dinner.
3. Inform the child of your plan. You also must inform the child of what will happen when the situation occurs so there is nothing surprising about it. Abby is informed before dinner that she will have one hour to finish her meal. if it is not finished, it will be stored int he refrigerator for breakfast the next morning. She will continue to be presented with the meal and nothing else until she eats it. If there is whining and complaining, she will move to another table to eat her dinner alone, while the rest of the family completes our dinner.
4. Follow through on what you say. Now you must actually put the plan into practice. it may not be fun, but you have prepared yourself knowing the situation may arise and know the child is well -informed, so there is no reason to get frustrated or angry. They are making their own decision and must learn to deal with the consequences.
I want to encourage all of us as parents to “strike while the iron is cold” this holiday week. Remember how overwhelming all of this can be for kids. Prep them for each and every event with what is expected of them and what the consequences will be if those expectations are not met. But be ready for some fall-outs! Don’t put your own personal ease of sitting and eating your turkey over the wonderful fruit that can come from training your children through a holiday!
Prepping for the holiday with you,
Erin
The Need for Consistency November 13, 2007
Posted by Erin in : General Lessons , add a commentJoe,
I was reminded this morning how important it is to keep up with habits that we want instilled in our children. Both Abby and Elijah had had a bit of a hiatus from having alone time in their rooms. I think it had been since last Wednesday since they had had time alone in their room. Now of course, that isn’t all that long, but think about ourselves. If I don’t do something daily for 5 days, for example exercise, my flesh does not want to jump back into that difficult habit.
So we met some resistance form bot in spending time alone in their rooms today, but that was a battle I needed to fight because I think it is a good discipline to be able to be by yourself for a time. I am reading John Rosemond’s “Making the ‘Terrible’ Twos Terrific” right now and he reminded me of this again when he said that one of the greatest signs of development in a three year old is being able to spend an hour alone occupying him or herself without having to request anything of the parent at all.
So let’s continue to do our best to be consistent in those habits we want to instill in our children. I would especially encourage parents to do this in the upcoming holiday season when the rush and activity can push a lot of habits to the side. I would urge parents not to let their private time with God and family time be disregarded for these weeks because getting back into it will be that much harder!
Striving for consistency,
Erin
Loads vs. Burdens November 6, 2007
Posted by Erin in : General Lessons , add a commentJoe,
I had shared part of a message that I had listened to this morning with some people and since you encouraged me to write it down here, some people will be hearing a repeat of what I said this morning! Anyway, as I was on the elliptical this morning, I was listening to a message by Carolyn Mahaney called “Can You Do It All and Do It Well?” As a mother, I know that question runs through my mind a lot, and I am sure it does for those dads out there as well. We live in a time where we have more opportunities to do things due to technology and the ways we are connected to others that we seem to be a generation of over-worked, over-committed, exhausted and often joy-less people.
Basically the climax of her message came when Carolyn said that we see so few people who are bearing their load with joy and ease these days. She used the word “load” because of its use in Galatians 6:5 where Paul says “For each one will have to bear his own load.” Carolyn explained that the word for “load” int he Greek referred to a backpack that a hiker or solider would carry on his back. So heavy, but not impossible to carry on his/her own. In contrast, she notes that a different word is used earlier in Galatians 6 where we are instructed to “bear one another’s burdens” in verse 2.
Her point was that we each have a load to carry and there is no reason we should not be doing this with joy and ease when Jesus has told us that when we take His burden it is easy and light. She then went on to give some reasons why we do not see more Christians bearing their load with joy and ease.
One of the first reasons our loads are not borne with happiness is because we are carrying more than God calls us to. this could be because of a pride in thinking we can do more than God has called us to. It could be due to fear of man, in that we struggle to tell someone “no” when they ask us to do something. We may not ask for others advice before taking on tasks and think we have all wisdom, which is again pride, and end up having too much to do.
Another reasons we may not bear our load in a way that glorifies God is because many of us are terrible managers of our times. As Christians, this really should not be. We are exhorted in God’s Word to make the most of our time because the days are evil. We should be the best time managers on the planet! We waste so much time each day, but then complaint hat we don’t have enough of what we have just wasted away. We also waste time not by simply doing various frivolous things, but also by not being in efficient int he things we are called to do. So many people are bogged down because they do not have an effective way of completing the tasks that God has set before them. they spend twice as long on things because they have no specific system in place for their lives to run smoothly. I would be amiss not to highly recommend David Allen’s book “Getting Things Done” as a great tool for getting your life into a comprehensive system. And read it more than once!
Lastly, we may not be bearing our load because we are simply over dramatic about how much we have to do. A simple thing I wish I had learned earlier is: LIFE IS BUSY. Call it is busy or full or exciting or fast-paced, but that is life. And everyone’s life is like that, so our complaints often fall on deaf ears. Life is not just sitting around sipping tea and relaxing. Of course, we should have those times of refreshment, but life is also a battle. One of the best things I was ever told as a new mom, was by my wonderful husband. I was tired and flustered about life as a new mom, and he looked at me one night and said “I think you need to expect to be exhausted at the end of every day.” Oh how I needed to hear that and I think there are so many other joyless, burdened, run down Christians who need to hear it too. It is a joy to do the Lord’s work! In the words of Nancy Leigh DeMoss, if He has called you to it, then you have enough time for it.
Hopefully this will minister to other parents as we bear our loads today as it did me. Another thing that spoke to me this morning was how much we need to hear those encouragements. Parents, let’s not just store up for the day in our morning quiet times, but let’s feed our souls through out the day with Scripture meditation, reading good books, and listening to messages. There is time for it!
Carrying the load for His glory,
Erin