Blog Delay April 15, 2008
Posted by Joe in : Uncategorized , add a comment
Greetings everyone,
This is Joe here making a quick post to explain why we will be a bit delayed in our parenting posts here at Sinners Raising Saints. Her name is Naomi Kathryn Crispin and she was born in Bandirma, Turkey on Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 5:30 pm. We have already seen that with her added to the mix, we will have plenty of lessons to learn and write about in the future.
Giving thanks for every good gift,
Joe
Recommendations April 7, 2008
Posted by Erin in : Recommendations , add a commentJoe,
I just wanted to give two parenting resources recommendations for today. The first is a book you read and highly recommended called Christian Living in the Home by Jay Adams. Only one of the chapters deals specifically with parents (it is called Discipline with Dignity), but the whole book is excellent and worth the read!
The other is a message we purchased from Redeemer Presbyterian church (Tim Keller’s church). The message is by Brent Bounds and is called Train Up a Child: The Spiritual and Psychological Development of Children (part 1).
Both of these were great eye openers to me and I think would be a blessing to many!
Training with you,
Erin
Motivation and Gentleness April 4, 2008
Posted by Joe in : General Lessons , 1 comment so farErin,
Here are two things I have been thinking of in regards to parenting. The first, motivation, refers not to our being motivated as parents, but to how we might properly motivate our children to obey. The second, gentleness, is not a quality that comes naturally to me, but one that embodies numerous other qualities that I want to possess as a father and that must accompany whatever motivating forces we deem necessary to employ.
As for motivation, I have been amazed, as I mentioned to you the other day, at the way in which Abby and Elijah will respond to differ degrees of force. Not physical force mind you (though I suppose it could include spankings), but force of various kinds. Force like telling Elijah, “If you don’t choose to control yourself right now, you will go into your crib.”
And for Elijah, that is more than enough. He wants nothing to do with that crib. So he is able to get control of himself quite quickly. Abigail, on the other hand, would laugh at such a small thing. Bigger things seem to be necessary for our oldest, the one who has our combined strength of will.
But at the same time, as we spoke of yesterday, a balance is needed. It is not enough to set before our children a certain consequence and expect them to respond. After all, various forces are work, forces that they often do not understand themselves. For example, when Abigail begins to ‘lose it’, it doesn’t matter what the consequence is. She is gone. And though a gentle word does not always do the trick, it is surely much more effective, it seems, in both the long and short run that a harsh reminder of the consequence.
Sure, the consequence should not be taken away. But they can be administered with great patience and care. And while Abigail chooses to throw a temper-tantrum (over things large and small), we can gently guide her through the process and use the opportunity to teach here how to better handle herself. Every moment is a teaching moment. The difficulty, of course, is to figure out how to teach right then and there.
No matter what, however, consequences must be administered with patience and gentleness. Clarity helps on both accounts. Let us continue to pray for just that.
Growing in grace with you,
Joe