Primary Components - Hymns May 1, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
Thanks for the great start to this section with thoughts on the importance of the Word of God. Again, I really enjoyed seeing how just a short amount of time can make such a huge impact on our lives.
I thought I would hit upon the component that we usually do first in our family worship time, which is the singing of hymns. The reason we find this component to be so crucial to starting off the family worship time is the way that song raises our emotions. But it is not just the music itself, but the incredible truths that the words of the hymn teach us.
Research has certainly shown that people are able to memorize things much easier when set to music. This is wonderful news for those of us who are singing hymns in our family worship times. Because many hymns are so deep and rich in their Bible truth, we are able to get the deep truths of God down into our hearts easily. And you know how songs tend to stick in your head. How wonderful it is to have hymns being sung through out the day by various members of the family.
We usually take as long as we need to to memorize a hymn. Sometimes it only takes a week, or sometimes, as is the case right now while we are singing “Onward Christian Soldiers”, you may spend a few weeks on one hymn. I would suggest that in special seasons, like Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas, that you pick hymns that especially speak the truths that are being celebrated in those holidays.
Singing raises joy in our hearts, so step out and sing a song unto the Lord! We will suggest some helps for hymn singing in our next section on family worship.
Until then, making a joyful noise to the Lord with you,
Erin
Primary Components–The Word of God April 30, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Family Worship Series , add a commentErin,
Great job keeping things going last week. I am thankful for your diligence and I trust I am not alone. Your insights on inconsistency were especially needed, I believe. Well, now it is time to move into our next section–The Primary Components of Family Worship. The first one we come to is, of course, the Word of God, the Bible, the Scriptures!
I am not overstating the case to say that there is nothing more important than how well we know the Word of God. So many great men have said this that I’m not sure who I should quote. There is simply nothing more important. For it is the knowledge of the Scriptures that ushers us into the knowledge of God. It is the knowledge of the Scriptures that enables us to view our world rightly. It is the means by which we can come to a proper understanding of our own hearts and our own time and culture and societal values. It is the chief means through which the Holy Spirit renews our thoughts and affections. Where there is ignorance of Scripture, there is darkness. Where there is the knowledge of Scripture, there is light. It really is that simple.
So, when it comes to leading our homes and in particular, to the daily practice of family worship times, what could be more important that daily exposure to the Word of God? I can’t think of anything can you!? Family Worship is a wonderful time for this exposure, particularly for young ones. Just imagine, day in and day out, being guided through the Word of God by Dad and Mom. A short reading and short explanation will suffice.
It doesn’t have to be anything fancy really. And as we said, there are plenty of resources to help. But a short reading and explanation each day goes a long way to renewing your minds in accordance with the Word. Not to mention, the daily exposure serves to bring a certain degree of ‘comfort’ with the Scriptures. This is why there should not be any kid who is raised in the church who does not know his way around the Bible–or who is not comfortable with his knowledge of its contents. Where this discomfort and ignorance is presence, Dad has failed. There is simply no other way to put it. Maybe the church has failed to properly prepare Dad. That is often the case. Leaders are not leading as they should. But either way, Dad is responsible for exposing his children to the Word of God. Nothing else can be so important.
This leads me back to my 10 minutes per day statistic. Imagine that you expose your children to the Word of God (reading and explanation) for only 5 minutes per day. Let’s add up the numbers. 5 minutes per day leads to 150 minutes per month. Yes, that is 2 and 1/2 hours per month at 5 minutes a day! Now times that by 12 and you end up with 1800 minutes per year–or 30 hours! Yes, that is over a whole day! Now times that by 16 years and you end up with 480 hours–or 20 twenty-four hour days! That is amazing.
So, if during the course of 16 years or so, if you spend only 5 minutes per day reading and explaining the Scriptures to your children, you end up teaching them for a total of 480 hours or 20 twenty-four hour days. What more needs to be said? Let’s go at it!
As I said, we will recommend some helps. I know it isn’t easy, but as I say often, nothing worthwhile is easy. That is just the way things are in this fallen world. Maybe in Heaven all will run smoothly, but right now, it is surely a battle. Let us pray for the grace to fight!
Exposing our kids to the Word with you (little by little),
Joe
Pitfalls Part 5 - Inconsistency April 27, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
I will just keep rolling here and finish up our section on the pitfalls with the last area we wanted to address: inconsistency.
As in many areas of our lives, when something is not a consistent part of our lives, it can easily fall by the way side. I remember reading a study that those who exercise first thing in the morning are more likely to stick with it for life. Is it that morning time is a better time for exercise? No. It is simply because many things that are done in the mornings become ingrain habits and done on a daily basis.
So it is with family worship time, it is often those who try and just fit it in “whenever” that find a week has gone by without spending time worshiping together as a family. So that brings me to the first area of consistency: time. Try and find a time that you will be able to stick to daily for family worship time. Now it doesn’t have to be an exact number on the clock, but maybe a general time like “after breakfast”. I know this can be tough! With Joe’s job we have a different schedule almost every day, that is why we would advise doing it as early in the day as possible. This way there are as few unexpected surprises that have come and changed the day.
I think if you are consistent on a time it will lead to consistency in the second area: making sure it happens every day. Not only do you need to be consistent on a time, but family worship time needs to be a priority. Only when you think of it as such will you be sure to have it happen daily. Just as with private time with the Lord, your day should just “not feel right” when you haven’t spent time together worshiping as a family.
The third area you want to be consistent in is your agenda. Once you decide how the family time should run, try to keep it relatively the same most days. This will make it easier on everyone involved when they know what to expect. Here I would also recommend that you have an alternate plan on those days when time is very scarce. For us, we will usually cut out Abby’s Bible reading and catechism questions and just have Joe pray when it is a day we don’t have a lot of time.
And lastly, don’t let visitors affect your family worship time. Invite them to join you! It is a wonderful way to fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ. And with unbelievers it can be a great witness.
Life is full of unexpected moments, but striving to keep family worship time as a consistent part of your days no matter what brings great blessing!
Striving for consistency,
Erin
Pitfalls Part 4- Underestimation of Child April 26, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
We certainly had an eventful few days here, but as usual God did a good work through the valleys! I am thankful to be traveling through this journey with you!
So I will get to the fourth pitfall that I alluded to on Monday because I said it was the other side of the coin with overestimating what a child can do. So the other side of the coin is obviously UNDERestimating our children.
I think many parents fall into this trap especially when it comes to what age to start family time at. Just like reading to a child, I think this is an area that can be started right away. A newborn can sit by in a bouncy seat or lay on a blanket nearby while family time happens. Or one of the parents can hold the child on their lap, which is always a good way to begin training for sitting on a lap. Although they may not fully “get it”, the daily time will quickly become a habit.
Another area we can underestimate our children is in the area of memorization. Now I am not saying you need to drill your children or give them weekly tests, but they can begin memorizing often at a much earlier age than we expect. Children memorize simply by hearing something over and over again. Abby had memorized a number of hymns by age 2 1/2 years simply because we sang them over and over again. This was not something she was drilled on. The same goes for Scripture memory. To read a section over and over again for weeks will get it into a toddler’s mind quite easily.
Parents may also think that their children simply “cannot” sit still long enough for a 15 minute family time. It is true that maybe they “will not” right now, but that does not mean they cannot be trained to do so. Of course, there are some conditions that may prohibit a child from sitting still, but more often than not it is a lack of training.
I would like to also make a quick interjection here on the subject of television. I think many children today do not sit still due to the amount of television that is being watched. To quote John Rosemond on the problem of television watching and attention span, “The ’steady’ picture on a television screen is an optical illusion, changing, on average, every three to four seconds. Because of this constant perpetual shift, or flicker, the TV-watching child isn’t attending to any one thing for longer than a few seconds. As a result, watching television is a strangely paradoxical situation for the young child. The more time spent watching television, the shorter then attention span becomes.” And again he says, “I’d come to the inescapable conclusion that the constantly flickering image on a television screen actually disables the young brain’s ability to develop a long attention span. Since a long attention span is essential to impulse control, I further concluded that the TV-watching encumbered the development of good self-control, leading to behavior problems that in all likelihood would not have otherwise existed.” I know these are strong words for some parents, and I am not suggesting that your children can not watch television as ours do, or as John Rosemond’s didn’t, but maybe just to think about whether television is keeping your child from developing other habits that may lead them into greater godliness and love for God.
I pray we would all strive along side our children to buffet our bodies and make them our slaves lest we be disqualified from the race! Although it is never easy, let us stretch ourselves beyond what we may think is possible and press on into the fullness of Jesus!
Seeking Him,
Erin
Pitfalls Part 3 - Overestimation of Child April 23, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
That was a good post on the planning of family worship. Just a few minutes of planning saves tons of time in the end! This is especially important for those families who do not feel they have enough time for family worship.
I am onto the 3rd pitfall today. This pitfall will be one side of the coin (the other which will be discussed tomorrow). On this side of the pitfall coin is the overestimation of what a child can and should do in family worship.
This is where it can be wise of a parent to know two things. Number one is that you need to know what is developmentally appropriate at the age your child (or children) are at. Obviously our three-year-old cannot be expected to read during family worship because she doesn’t know how to read yet. Secondly, you need to know your own child. What are their strengths and weaknesses. While some children can be expected to start memorizing Scripture at a young age, for other children this may be too much.
You will save yourself a lot of hassle if you are not trying to force children to do things that they are not developmentally ready for yet. Another thing to consider when considering what your child is capable of doing is the order of events in family worship. For example, we had been singing a hymn, then reading a story from Abby’s Bible, then reading a chapter from our Bible, doing Scripture memorization, working on catechism questions and then praying. We started to see that Abby was getting tired by the end and was not doing as well on her catechism questions. So we switched her Bible reading to right before prayer to put the memorization and catechism questions (which would be more taxing for Abby) earlier on in our time, so she was fresher.
Also try and keep in mind that things like memorizing hymns, Scripture and catechism questions with your young ones are not a race. It is going to take them time and it doesn’t need to be rushed through. It may take us 2-3 weeks to finally have a hymn memorized. Don’t worry about the time, focus on fellowship with the Lord and the fruit that will be borne from it!
Slow and steady with you,
Erin
Pitfalls Part 2–Lacking a Plan April 20, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Family Worship Series , add a commentErin,
That was a good hiatus yesterday. Very practical. I hope it was a help to some. Either way though, it is a help to actually put those thoughts down in writing isn’t it? It just helps to reinforce our convictions. For that I am thankful. I’m also thankful that ‘the dude’ (as we like to call him) keeps his hat on now!
Anyhow, I switched the order up on this section a bit, so our pitfall for family worship part 2 is now the lack of a distinct plan.
Now, I do find it interesting that I am writing this piece, particularly because I am the one who often decides last minute on the day’s hymn! I’m a work in progress as you know full well. That being said, we still have a very distinct order to our times together as a family. And order is most definitely a good thing. Indeed, I believe it is a godly thing. For the Lord Himself is a God of order, perfect-order! So we are wise to imitate Him.
As it relates to family time, the first thing I would say is that there is a great deal of freedom as to what ‘family worship’ can consist of. Of course, there are the mainstays–which we will discuss more later–of Bible reading, prayer and song. Those are a given I believe, but what kind of order an individual family takes depends on their situation. You could use a reading plan like McCheyne’s or a devotional book that guides you through particular readings (again, we will suggest more at a later date). For prayer, you could have everyone pray (which we do) or just have the father prayer (which we do at times). For the singing of hymns, you could vary it up each day or sing one for a solid week or so in order to memorize it (which we like to do). Then there are catechisms, Bible memory, etc. etc.
That being said, such freedom requires responsible and orderly decisions. Whatever you want to do, go for it. Today’s emphasis is simply: Have a plan for how you will go for it! What comes first? What comes second? On and on. In short: What is the plan?!
The reason this is so vital to mention is because without a distinct plan, time is bound to be wasted. And if you only have 10-20 minutes set aside, time cannot be wasted! It is our conviction that family worship often fades out because of a lack of clear order. So a plan is needed. A plan is necessary. Whatever it is, make sure you have a clear plan!
Fathers, I would exhort you, in particular, to ‘get on the ball’ here. This is your responsibility. Don’t shrug it off to Mom. Lead the home. Make the call. Take the 5 minutes to plan out how your family will worship the Lord. Take into consideration the season of life you are in. Right now we, for example, are in a nice grove, but that is bound to change at some point. I will have to regroup and make some changes to the schedule (which our ordered Abigail is sure to be distraught over!). But in the end, whatever you do, just have a plan! You, and your family (and the host of Heaven for that matter) will be thankful you did!
Seeking Him with you,
Joe
Pitfalls Part 1- Trying to Do Too Much April 18, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
Thanks for a great wrap-up on the benefits section. I know I have been humbled time and again with the different aspects of family worship. In particular it brings the pride low when your three year old is memorizing Scripture better than you!
So the next section we wanted to discuss were some of the pitfalls of family worship. These are areas we can slip into trouble on. When one of these comes our way we miss out on showcasing the glory of God and experiencing the joy family worship was created for.
So the first area we wanted to discuss was the problem of trying to do too much in the family worship time. Sometimes the thought of family worship is so daunting to parents that they put off starting something that is meant to refresh because they feel like it is such a burden. This often stems from this lofty idea of what family worship is meant to be.
I think this especially is a struggle with fathers who do not feel adequate to lead their family in times of worship. Men, you do not have to preach a sermon or be able to give the Greek definitions of all the different words in a certain paragraph! Any man with a love for the Lord can be a great leader to his family’s worship time.
Family worship time does not have to consist of a lot. You could keep it to simply reading a section of Scripture and praying. If you would like to and have time to, try adding in a hymn. And to really enhance the time you could memorize Scripture and work on catechism questions with the kids.
We have another part of this series coming up in which we will recommend resources for family worship time. There are so many great helps out there for parents, that there is really no need for it to be a daunting task. You really don’t have to try and make it a full blown, cover-every-single-aspect, mini-church worship service. Keep it simple and focus on blessing your heart and your children’s heart with the Word and prayer!
Seeking Him,
Erin
Practical Benefits Part 4- Humility April 17, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Family Worship Series , add a commentErin,
That was a good practical post you made yesterday. It is always interesting to see how small disciplines can have great effects. I mentioned the 10 minute per day discipline last week (and again, 15 is probably better!) and have since implemented that for a few other things. The benefit has been wonderful! Too often we think that we don’t have the time to do certain things, but that is because we somehow think we are supposed to do it all at once! Memorizing Scripture for example, at only 10 minutes per day will lead you into some wonderful territory. I am seeing the fruit right now.
Anyhow, I am onto our final point for this section, namely, another practical benefit of daily gathering as a family to worship the Lord is growth in humility.
Now, under this heading, I could probably go numerous directions. My first inclination would be to talk about the way in which humbling yourself before the Lord each day through prayer and Bible reading is a means by which you truly grow in humility. That would be good. In fact, that is central and foundational, but that isn’t what we had in mind for this section. Because this is the ‘practical’ section, we were thinking about the humbling effects of reading Scripture in front of others and praying in front of others and memorizing Scripture (or a catechism) in front of (or with) others.
This might not seem like a big deal to some, but we all know plenty of people who have a hard time praying in front of others or reading or reciting or whatever. I know that that was the case with me for quite some time and also with you. What a freedom for a child to be secure enough on the Word and within his own home to willingly recite the Scriptures or pray in front of others. Surely, this begins at home. It doesn’t end there, but it most certainly begins there.
So maybe we would be better to describe this benefit as increased ‘transparency.’ That is, if a child learns to daily come before the Lord each day–under the Word, in prayer, and also in song (which I forgot to mention earlier)–when he leaves the home for sunday school or school or hanging out with friends in his teenage years, he will be much more apt to be transparent and secure. We all know that we are usually more secure and transparent with things that we are well acquainted with. How often do Christians shy away from conversations about the Bible, b/c deep down they know they don’t have the answers! They don’t know their Bibles well enough! They lack security and thus, transparency.
Let us labor to serve our children by making them very familiar with their Bibles and in prayer and in song. Doing so in the family setting will most certainly serve them in all of life!
Seeking Him with you,
Joe
Benefits Part 3- Self-Control April 16, 2007
Posted by Erin in : Family Worship Series , add a commentJoe,
That was an excellent way to look at the benefit of growing in knowledge. It gave me a new vigor to commit other things to a simple 10 minutes a day!
The third area of benefit that I am addressing today is the discipline children gain in self-control. Anyone that has young ones knows how hard it can be for them to sit still for any amount of time. But this is an area that we can all be trained in (even the adults out there who have trouble sitting still and focusing for 10 minutes!)
In the discipline of sitting still and paying attention, the younger you start the better! We did not start true family time until Abby was over a year old. So we were behind the 8 ball with her and had to work a little harder to break some already formed habits. Elijah is 11 months old and is now joining us for family time when we do it at a time he is awake. As with any habit, the earlier you start the easier it is to establish and the less bad habits to undo!
This is an incredible benefit not only to making your family time peaceful, but also for other areas of life. What a joy it is to have children that you can take places and know they understand what it means to sit still and be quiet! This has benefited us in many areas of life. With living overseas and traveling, we have to spend long flights on the plane with our young children. When they have been trained to sit they don’t need to be running all over the plane and disturbing other passengers. This is one small way we can be a light for Jesus to the world. Another situation this has benefited us is in church. Here in Spain, there is no nursery for the children until the sermon begins. So that means for the first hour of church, the kids are with us. It has been great to have kids who are trained to sit with us.
The mention of church also brings me to think of the benefit of self-control in preparation for joining parents in the worship service on Sunday mornings. We are planning on having Abby begin sitting up with us possibly this summer. With the training she has had in family worship time, this should be an easier transition.
So what are some practical things you can do to instill this self-control of children during family worship time? First of all, silence is expected from the children, except when they have been addressed or are expected to join in (as in the instance of the singing of a hymn or the reciting of Scripture). They also need to sit still, facing forward. Abby was having some problems with wanting to rub her shoes together as we sat there at one time. Those sort of issues need to be addressed. Elijah being younger, is expected to sit on my lap, facing forward. He loves to turn around and pull up to stand on my legs. But at this time, he needs to sit facing forward. Another challenge with young ones is teaching them to keep control of their hands. Elijah is often wanting to grab at the pages of the hymnal or Bible, but must be trained not to touch. One last thing to look out for is the children distracting one another. Right now our little ones love each other dearly (praise God) but it can lead to them distracting one another. Make sure the older is setting a good example for the younger.
You will see an amazing benefit in your children learning to sit still for even 10 minutes at a time. Self-control is a wonderful fruit God blesses our children with through family worship time!
Training our children in self-control with you,
Erin
Benefits Part 2- Growth in Knowledge April 13, 2007
Posted by Joe in : Family Worship Series , add a commentErin,
That was well said yesterday. I hope others were encouraged as much as I was. Today’s topic is focused on our growth in knowledge as we daily set aside to gather together as a family to worship the Lord.
Here are some basic calculations. Imagine that we gather together for 10 minutes a day (15-20 is preferable in my opinion). That’s very reasonable I believe. And imagine that those 10 minutes consisted of reading the Word, praying and singing a hymn. We might be able to add catechism teaching, etc, but we are keeping things simple here. Well, at 10 minutes a day, you are spending about 5 hours a month praying, reading and singing. Then times that number by 12 and you are spending 60 hours a year–two and a half days!
That is awesome isn’t it? Of course, this rings true for anything that you might spend 10 minutes doing, but our focus here in family time. At only 10 minutes per day, we are exposing ourselves to glorious Bible truths at a clip of 2 and 1/2 full days a year. Naturally, we are going to grow in our knowledge of the Word and our enjoyment of great hymns and learning how to pray!
Our children, in particular, will learn of these great disciplines from our family times together. They will learn how to pray by hearing us pray for hours (when added up of course). They will learn to appreciate and exult over the Word of God by seeing us do the same for days (in total of course). They will learn how to sing with their minds and hearts to the Lord as they hear us do the same. On and on. They are bound to grow in the knowledge of God and to learn how to pursue Him themselves. Why not spend the 10 minutes per day?!
As it relates particularly to knowledge, the point is clear. Continual exposure to the Word of God is what every single human being needs. It is the way to grow in wisdom. Indeed, it is the only ultimate way!
With all that being said, let us be diligent to gather as a family daily before our great and awesome God! Time adds up. Our children might not become sound theologians in a day, but over the course of years, through constant exposure to the Word and sound theology through hymns, that will probably take place. They will soak it in everyday and be all the better for it.
Seeking to be diligent with you,
Joe