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Jesus is the Standard December 22, 2007

Posted by Erin in : Scripture Meditation , 1 comment so far

Joe,

As I am finishing out my year of reading the Bible once again using the M’Cheyne Bible reading program, I am currently in 2 Chronicles and taking another trip through all of the accounts of the kings of Israel and Judah (although Chronicles if more of a focus on the southern kingdom).   Something hit me this morning as I was in chapter 26 where once again the chronicler says that the next king, the son of the former king, “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, according to all that his father had done.”  And the trend seems to be that the young kind will often start off walking in the ways of the Lord, but then turn to evil in his later days.

I was thinking about how important it is as parents to not set ourselves up as the standard for our children.  We need to make sure that our children understand that we are sinners as they are and make plenty of mistakes.  We need to be open about our mistakes and repentant of them, so our children can see and learn.  Too often we want to mask our faults to our children because we think they will not respect us if we are not perfect.  In doing so, we miss the opportunity to point them to the One who is perfect and paid for all of our sin.  It is is Jesus who we ought to follow and walk in the ways of.

May we use this Christmas season to humble ourselves under the tiny baby in the manger as our Lord and Savior.  May our children know we too are sinners saved by grace who must go to the throne of mercy every day.  And may we point to Jesus as the One to ultimately pattern ourselves after.

Looking to Jesus,

Erin

He Knows Our Frame May 29, 2007

Posted by Erin in : Scripture Meditation , 1 comment so far

Joe,

Thanks for getting us back on track here.  It has been busy and we will have another busy time coming up in about 10 days here as we go through another time of transition, but hopefully we can stay faithful with the little time we have!

I have been meditating a lot on Psalm 103:14 lately in regards to parenting.  The verse says, “For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.”   This is of course referring to God’s amazing patience with us and the way He bears with us in our sin and struggle to slowly refine us as a people for His own glory.  Just to sit and meditate upon that truth, I am blown away at God’s patience.  I know just a small fraction of the evil that lies in my heart and to think  that God patiently is pruning this away from me makes me marvel.

But as I have been thinking about my patience and forbearance as of late, I have thought about my attitude towards others.   And usually as I am looking at my actions towards others, I begin with those closest to me, which would have to be you (my husband) and children.  Because we all know the true colors come out at home!

If I would say there is one sin that has been manifested more in being a parent than before we had children, I would say it is the sin of impatience.  Before I had kids, I thought I was a relatively patient person.  I wouldn’t have said it was a strength, but did not think it was a glaring weakness.  Oh, how wrong I was.  I realized it about a week in to being a mom when I was trying to console Abby at about 11pm one night and realized how quickly I wanted to give up.   All of the sudden it hit me that I was not a patient person.

And this truth has continued to be shown, although God has granted some growth, in the last three years.  But as I have been meditating upon this Scripture, I am able to see myself in my little daughter as I parent her.  It is like I am seeing myself through God’s eyes.  When she throws a temper tantrum, I see the way I had a temper tantrum the other day and God patiently granted me repentance and faith to walk through it.  I can see His grieving over my sin because it is not what I was created.  I see Him looking at me missing out on the joy I was created for.  And although he looks on us remembering our frame, this doesn’t mean He does not discipline us.  He does discipline us, but He does it for our happiness in Him.  My discipline as a parent is often flowing from a heart that is bothered that my child is not acting the way I want him/her to.  But never with God.  He knows our frame and our weaknesses and works with us for our joy in Him.

So may we meditate this week about how the God of patience infuses us with patience to bear with the sins of others, especially those of our children who often test us every day.  Let us be mindful that our children, like us, are but dust and a work in progress.

Patiently parenting with you,

Erin

What is Your Vision? February 25, 2007

Posted by Erin in : Scripture Meditation , add a comment

Joe,

I love when I get those glimpses of us being one, even in our thoughts of what to discuss next on a blog! I was actually going to bring up having a vision for our children (because I think you have great wisdom in the area of people having a vision for their lives) and you went ahead and brought it up on your own. If we are on the same wavelength like this after almost 5 years of marriage, imagine how scary we could be if the Lord would grant us 10 or 20 years!

I actually started thinking about a vision for our children as I was reading in Job this week. In chapter 21 Job is not in one of his better moments. He is in a place that I think all of have entered into at one point or another. He is questioning why it is even worth it to walk in righteousness. He looks around and sees the wicked seemingly prospering and enjoying life. In verse 11, he even goes on to comment on their children “They send out their little boys like a flock and their children dance.”

I know that this sort of observation has been a struggle for me before. I look at other families who are not seeking to love the Lord and wonder how it is that their children are so well-behaved (or don’t throw temper tantrums or whatever else you want to put in there). Then part of me starts to wish my children were that way or envy their family. When I step back and look at why I am feeling this way, I realize I have lost sight of the vision I have for my children.

Our vision is not raise the most well-behaved or obedient children. We want to raise children who ultimately love Jesus with all their heart and soul and mind and strength. Now this transformation of heart will flow out into external obedience, but the external obedience is not the goal. Is it worth it to us to strive with our children for years and years exposing their sin and pointing to the cross of Christ and finally have them saved? Or are we just wanting the immediate work of outward behavior while raising children who are headed to hell. Too often we are satisfied with the outward change of behaviors instead of an inward heart change.

So we must get specific about what we desire and envision for our children, but also keep the broad goal in mind that we desire to raise children who cherish God above all else. When we have this vision for their lives, it will change the way we speak, instruct, and discipline, amoung many other things.

Desiring to raise children who love Jesus,

Erin

Childlike Trust? February 21, 2007

Posted by Joe in : Scripture Meditation , add a comment

First a short note about the set-up for this blog. Erin and I have decided to make this blog something of an on-line conversation. This is what I do with Larry on the Seeking Him Blog (more or less) and I like the format. It gives us the opportunity to linger on a topic for a season if we wish. I think that will be helpful here. Of course, unlike Larry and I, Erin and I live in the same house and share our every detail of life together. We are joyfully one flesh. Yet I still think an on-line conversation can work. Maybe it can even work better actually, considering the fact that we can help one another with our various posts! With that be said….

Erin,

So I was thinking about your post from yesterday as I read through Exodus 4 this morning. As I mentioned to you before you made the post, I enjoyed your thoughts in relationship to parenting. But I definitely was surprised when I started to think about parenting this moring while reading Exodus 4! What is happening to me here? Oh, that’s right, we started a blog! It’s working already isn’t it? Lessons are being learned. Anyhow….

I was thinking about Moses and all his various doubts. I could easily get down on him until I remind myself of my own weakness and especially, the little exposure that Moses had to the glory of God. He had no face of Christ to look at. He had no New Covenant revelation which we so freely enjoy (and often take for granted). In that vein, it struck me that one of the reasons why Moses clearly had his doubts was because he hadn’t had ample opportunity to see the Lord in action. Of course, I think the primary reason he doubted was because he was too focused on himself and too little on the Lord, but that reason doesn’t negate what I just said. In fact, it might support it. For maybe the reason why he was so focused on himself is because he knew so little about the Lord. We have to remember that at this point in human history, the Lord had not yet revealed too much of His Person and glory. After all, He was soon to use Moses to do so!

That being said, I drifted to thoughts of parenthood and the way in which children, as they grow older, seem to lose their childlike trust. For Elijah, well, he can’t help but trust us (except when it is dinner time and you leave the room), but as Abby grows older, it’s as if the fall sets in and she begins to doubt all authority, just as our forebearers, Adam and Eve, did the Lord in the Garden. As it relates to us, she doubts that we are striving for her good and in fact, that we know better than she what her good really is. We tell her everyday that she needs to take a nap, but every day is still a fight. She really doesn’t trust that we know and want to do what is best for her. What is the deal?

Well, sin is the deal. That comes first of course. Our kids emerge (just as we did) from the womb foolish as can be! The parents who don’t see this must, in all honesty, be fools themselves, because it seems quite obvious. Kids aren’t simply ignorant, they are foolish and they will remain foolish and in fact, grow more foolish if we don’t help them see their need for the grace to change their foolishness.

That is all very true, yes, but there is still more I believe. As it relates to my thinking this morning, the more has to do with our children’s need to see more of us in consistent, trustworthy action. For just as Moses failed to trust that the Lord knew what was best for him because he had yet to see His trustworthiness, so too might it be that Abigail needs to see us prove ourselves wise and trustworthy? I think so. Though she has seen a good deal already (imperfectly of course!), we have to remember that she has a hard time consistently recalling what happened two days ago. And she doesn’t have the luxury of sitting herself down in quiet to reflect on our trustworthiness and love. Instead, she is always on the go.

That being said, I think it is a good lesson for us: we need to make it our aim to prove ourselves trustworthy day in and day out for the rest of our lives. And this is true not only to our children, but before our children. That is to say that they will take notice of all our interactions with each other and others and they will know whether or not we are really reliable and faithful people. They will know whether or not we are for real. And the older they grow, the more memories they will have of our being loving and wise and faithful. Then, say, when they are teenagers, they will actually come to us for advice! Yes, it really can happen folks!

One more thing: It struck me while writing this out how this really does parallel the way we relate to the Lord. Don’t we struggle with the same trust issues? The difficulties of today come and somehow we think that the Lord won’t come through. Though He has promised us mercies that are new every morning, we aren’t so sure. What is our deal? Well, sin of course. But the lesson I believe for us is that we must fight against this sinful tendency of unbelief by filling our hearts up with Bible truth—every single day. We need to be reminded each morning of the faithfulness and trustworthiness of God. For only then will we become the faithful and trustworthy and wise ourselves. Only as we behold His glory will we grow into His likeness and lead our children well.

Alright, that’s more than enough for now–as usual love. I suppose it is nice for you that I can get my ramblings out on this blog instead of in our living room to you each day! You are a good listener of course, but as a mother of two, I think this blog has more time to do so!

Seeking to be a trustworthy parent with you,

Joe

The Need to be Longsuffering February 20, 2007

Posted by Erin in : Scripture Meditation , add a comment

This morning my reading plan had me in Exodus 3 for one of my chapters. As I sat and read of Moses off in the desert and encountering the burning bush, I was meditating on how patient God is with us in our humanity. I was thinking of some of the other words to describe God’s patience and I thought of the word “longsuffering.” It is often used in Scripture to describe God’s attitude toward us. It is not a word I had thought about much before, so I went and looked it up online in a Bible dictionary (the internet is such a great resource!). The definition I found said “self-restraint in the face of provocation”.

Upon reading this one of my first thoughts was how much I need longsuffering as a parent. We have an almost three-year-old who is consistently looking to provoke us. She is always looking to stretch the limits. For example, last night as we were getting ready for bed, and after she had been disciplined for saying “no” to me, I was leaving the room, and she whispered a quiet “no”–just to see either if I could hear it or if that would be an acceptable form of “no”. She knows very well she is not to say “no” to Mommy when I have told her something, but as a sinful child she is often pushing the limits to see what will provoke us as parents.

For my discipline to be loving and effective, I need to be longsuffering. God bears with us as we often provoke Him right to His face. We are going to be dealing with years of provocation as parents, and my prayer is now for longsuffering in the midst of it. I want to be self-restrained, so that I do not discipline Abby in anger or pride when she disrespects me, but in humility and self-restraint in order to faithfully bring her back under the blessing of God.