Lesson in Fatherhood June 7, 2007
Posted by Joe in : General Lessons , trackbackHere is the journal entry I mentioned yesterday….
The past hour and a half or so have been very intense. Abby has some sort of ear infection that has been causing her some pretty good pain since about 5:00 or so. She didn’t get a nap today either. Combine that with the excitement/confusion of going home and it has made for a really difficult time.
Well, after the bedtime routine and disciplining her with spankings, I finally began to see the signs of relief. Spankings might seem harsh at a time like this, but for Abigail, it is the only way. She still knew that she was being disobedient and that she needed to be disciplined for it. She is well aware of the deal. Also, the Lord still disciplines us for our sins of unbelief and rebellion. Though there might be a greater grace for times of great weakness (for He knows our frame, that we are but dust), discipline still comes. And it needs to come, b/c it is the only thing that can get us out of our little worlds and back into reality. So it was with Abigail Lee.
So after multiple spankings from both Erin and I, the message was loud and clear and she began to get it. Not only that, but as is usually the case with discipline (for us and our children), she was humbled. And that is a good place to be. So she was listening to daddy and at this point, just crying and asking me, “Daddy, please make my ear stop hurting.” Every parent knows that this is one of the most difficult things in the world, b/c you just can’t make it happen. She had asked numerous times, “Daddy, mommy, please pray for me” (for the ear to stop hurting) and we had done so time and again. But we knew we couldn’t make it happen. And she is still at the point where she just can’t understand that. She still thinks we can do it all!
So I prayed for her again and told her that she needed her rest and that she had to stay in bed. No getting out and turning on the light (which is usually the first sign of rebellion). Those are the rules and she knows them well. But this time, amidst tears, she said, “Daddy, please pray that I would not get a spanking.” I did not quite understand, but told her that that was up to her. And then she said (again, amidst tears), “Daddy, please pray that I would not do those things.” Now that was what got my heart.
See, what she was saying and what she then clarified was, “Daddy, please pray that I would not get out of bed and turn on the light.” It broke my heart right away, but I knew that that was exactly where she (and we) need to be. She knew what she was supposed to do, but knew that she didn’t have the strength in her to make it happen. She was weak and knew that she needed God to be strong. Sure, she couldn’t explain it that way, but she has heard us pray and prayed with us enough time to know that the Lord answers prayer. So we prayed. And I know the Lord was in that prayer.
I prayed that the Lord might show Himself mighty through this time and reveal Himself to us and Abigail. I was confident of an answer. Then, after I finished, she said, “Please help me pray daddy.” And then she prayed after me. It was priceless.
After we were finished it got even better, because she still could not understand why the pain did not go away right away! O to have the faith of a child. After all, we prayed for it. Then I explained to her that she had to look to the Lord for strength, strength to endure this difficult time. She has Psalm 23 memorized, so I began to recite it. And almost immediately, there was peace. Peace with her, with me, with the whole situation. We recited it three times. Needless to say, those moments were some of my sweetest as a father.
Following that, we gathered up the friends, cuddled them together and said our, “I love you on these hands” (and everything else that goes with the leaving the room routine). And I knew that the Lord had heard our prayers (and the prayers of those who were praying for us). I then walked out to the living room and said to Erin, “If we had to go through all that to get this [and then I told her], then it was well worth it.” What a gracious God we serve!
There are so many lessons in that little story. From what I just said though, it should be obvious enough that in order for us to go deep with God, we have to go through struggle. We have to suffer a bit and struggle through it (enduring our own temper-tantrums maybe). We won’t be able to understand everything that is going on. We will want answers and we will pray for them, but they won’t come right away. The fight will continue on.
But then….breakthrough. We are brought to our end. We are weak. We must then look to Him to be strong. We must also look to others to help us cry out to God for grace upon grace (just as Abigail did). He might heal right away, but often He will not do so. He often says, “My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in your weakness.” And though we might not find the healing we desire or the immediate deliverance, He does grant us the grace to rest, as Abigail seems to be doing right now. Weeping may last for the ‘night’, but joy comes with the ‘morning.’ Weeping may last for a short time, but joy is on the other end. And indeed, if we do not endure the weeping–if we set up our lives, so that we can apparently walk with God without ever having to face such times–we will know nothing of the sweet joy in Jesus that comes when you realize you have nothing but Him.
Also, the Word of God. How central it is to the fight! My little girl taught me this lesson tonight. Sure, I had prayed for her, but I was not helping her to fight the fight. I was, more or less, telling her to just do what she had to do to obey. And what kind of gospel is that! By failing to help her recite the memorized Word (and there is yet another lesson!), I was more or less teaching her to fight in her own strength. What terrible fatherhood. For she needs to know that she is weak and that she must embrace her weakness and look to the Lord! And how else can we do so but through His Word?! The answer is plain.
So Psalm 23. That is going to be my chapter for Abigail. We need to teach her how to fight with the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. She gets it. She has seen it done. But now a more focused effort needs to be made to teach this little one how to fight. O Lord, help me to teach my children to be weak in themselves and strong in you! Thank you for showing me that tonight Lord. Thank you for making it plain. Help us to walk in wisdom as parents and to shepherd our children’s hearts to walk with you as they store up your Word.
There is more. Much more. But that is always the case. What a moment. How thankful I am for times such as these. And isn’t that always the case when deliverance comes after difficult times? Surely it has been my experience–as long as I have learned to look to the Lord! Thank you for your patience Lord. Thank you for your mercy and grace. Thank you that you teach me how to be a good father. Grace upon grace! I celebrate you and give thanks!
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